Trust In Loving Goodness

Dear Marilyn,

How can I come to accept loving goodness as my natural state of being when I see and experience pain and suffering that happens without a good reason?

This question comes from a deep desire to experience love, and to understand, what it means to love.  When you find yourself saying, “I should be more loving” and not really knowing how to do that, pay attention to where that thought is coming from.  Will behaving in a certain way change the conditions or the relationship so then you can feel more loving?  Are you using the idea of “love” to control how you think things should be so you can then be happy?   There is a difference between coming from a state of love or a loving consciousness and letting circumstances dictate whether or not you feel love.

The new approach to spirituality recognizes that we are divine beings having a human experience.  As divine beings we are each the dynamic expression of the Love that created Oneness – the Love of All That Is.  Love is who you are at your core. The energy of Love is dynamic, courageous, bold (not showy – that’s the ego), solemn, peaceful, humble and gives with no attachment to how its gifts are received.  In this sense love is unconditional, meaning it comes forth through connection with the inner self, not based on outside appearances.

Empower Yourself

You mistrust the idea of loving goodness because you have experienced something in your life that knocked you out of the feeling that love is present.   Some circumstances are not fair.  But fairness in the sense of an ‘eye for eye’ has nothing to do with dynamic power of love in action.  You may be harmed by someone but if you choose to hang onto the harm as a reason to disempower yourself and feel like a victim, you are choosing to feel hurt as well.  I am not saying that there is something wrong with feeling hurt, it’s a real emotion.  However, if you ask the question, what would love do allows the hurt and disempowerment to resolve.

It begins by loving yourself.  When your mind is being judgmental and critical toward yourself, you can stop and liberate your thoughts.  Feel into acceptance of yourself, no matter what the circumstances.  The first predator we disarm is the imaginary one in your own mind.  The critic in your mind is the reoccurring pain of all the things others have said to you and that you believed to be true. Know that you are worthy and deserving of all the joy your heart desires.  When your mind is overflowing with fulfillment, when you allow the love to be the dominant focus, you or anyone else in your life will no longer be the scapegoat for unhappiness.

What Would Love Do?

Love is the willingness to take a moment of your time, whether it’s with someone who has triggered you, has a conflict with you or is a great example of how quickly you can be turned away from love, and ask, “What would love do?”.  Love would see that person or situation as calling for love from you, as an opportunity for healing and forgiveness – both to yourself and to them.  Why would you offer that?  The reason is because the people who hurt you intentionally and unintentionally, wouldn’t feel the desire to hurt or abuse others if they felt whole.  Those in whom this desire to lash out or harm exists are expressing the energy of a pattern of pain and underneath they wish to be healed.  They are trying to heal themselves by projecting the pain they don’t know how to deal with onto others.

Thank them for reminding you that your light has the power to liberate you in the name of breaking the cycle of violence, abuse and pain.  That’s what love would do.   When you employ that strategy you will find a potent spiritual process of forgiveness.  For many forgiveness feels like you’re saying this is ok (nothing that has happened to you has to be ok).  If what happened is not ok, then shine your light to up-level the consciousness in both of you.  Use the power of your love to acknowledge the harm and release the hurt so this doesn’t happen to another.  Responding with love is responding with the opposite vibration.  It is possible in the midst of forgiveness to find a concern of equally helping all. In the body of a someone who is acting with unthinkable cruelty is the body of a victim who hasn’t been healed. 

You don’t need to wait for pain to heal yourself.  You can see the love, and send love, honor, generosity to all until your life is filled with a deep love that flows from within.  Your commitment to love affects the world with loving goodness. When you become the light in a darkened world, when you can bless someone who has hurt you with love, there is simply love to share.