Talking With Children About Spirituality

Dear Marilyn,

I want my children to know themselves as spiritual beings. How do I encourage their spirituality?  

One of the most beautiful truths about children, especially young children, is their pure, positive connection with their inner goodness.  Every baby is born a success. Every child’s ability to feel the power of pure desire and wonder within is proof that Spirit wants us to be successful. You can see it in their smiles, their sparkling eyes and their lack of inhibition in expressing their brilliance.  They are in love with their imaginations and believe wholeheartedly in the successful manifestation of the joy they feel from their imaginings in the moment. In their hearts and minds they are unstoppable, limitless and completely deserving of everything they desire.  Beautiful beings of pure positive energy enjoying life! The energy of Spirit is flowing within them.

As a parent you naturally want to see your children grow to be happy, healthy, self-reliant and confident of achieving all they want. You want them to know themselves as the powerful creators they are; to experience harmony, wholeness and abundance. With a desire to support your children in knowing themselves as divine beings having a human experience your hopes for your children will come true. You can give your children all the love they need, teach them to trust in their sacred selves and help them grow with confidence and purpose in their individuality. Guiding them yes, but always allowing their magnificence and vision for themselves to shine through. 

Become Spiritual Adventurers 

As a parent, who do you see in your child?  Do you see a divine being or do you see a human that you must shape and mold so that their way will be made easier by falling in line with society’s norms?  Or perhaps you understand that as with you, your child has a beautiful soul guiding him or her at all times from the inner planes.  If so, do you believe that even as a child, there is divine wisdom and purpose expressing through each one as a unique being?  Do you believe that your child can touch the stars? Can you step back and allow that magnificence to shine without judgment or expectation?  That may seem like a tall order, specifically when parents in western society are expected to manage their children’s behavior, imbue values, ensure they are motivated in positive directions, and set them on a a secure path designed for success.  

However, with all of the pressure and stress on children to be positioned for success earlier and earlier, many parents want their children to develop serenity and inner peace so that they may handle life’s ups and downs.   To cultivate this kind of development, remind yourself of what really counts. Learning to manage emotions and tuning into the inner world is coming know oneself more fully, and that means more spiritually, too. Teaching children that they have the ability to choose and shift their emotions, to connect with the innate wisdom of their constantly present higher selves through inner reflection, and to allow peace to guide their decisions opens the way to know themselves as spiritual beings.  

Everyday Ideas for Spiritual Families

You have to own that you and your children are divine beings and then you can learn to express that as a family of spiritual adventurers.  A child’s spiritual life should be age appropriate.  So rather than focusing on spiritual principles, the focus for younger children can be on knowing they are loved and loveable, and that being a good person comes from within.  The role of the care giver is all important in allowing children to show their moral nature, to express their desire to imitate the kindness and loving nature of their parents.  Remember that as a spiritual adventurer we don’t depend on others to make us happy.  Parents cannot make children happy.  Happiness is totally personal and comes from within, as does all true desires and self-authenticity.  Spiritual adventurers make it a practice to turn within for guidance. Meditation is a beneficial practice that can be taught to young children to develop self-awareness.  The magic of meditation is that everything comes from within, and children learn to open up to their inner wisdom as they quiet the outside world. 

A lot of the world takes a very narrow perspective on what determines a good life, and we unconsciously adopt outside standards for ourselves.   The truth is that each one of us is unique in the universe and our joy comes through our unique ideas and desires about ourselves. As a parent (or a child) love is the most powerful device we have in our lives.  There is much power and truth in saying to your child(ren): “I love you and accept you exactly as you are. I respect your right to be happy and fulfilled as a unique person. I will try to be the very best person I can be.  There is nothing you can do, say or be that will disappoint me. My love for you will never change. We are on our own paths, guided by the loving energy and essence of Spirit in each of us. As a child of God, you have the right to be happy and I support you in exercising that right.”  Everyone has desires and it is important for children to know that desire and fulfillment of desire is natural. Desire makes children naturally curious; and it’s the same seeking to fulfill desires as they grow that leads them to achievement in life. The role of the parent as spiritual teacher is to help children understand that there is a spiritual dimension of success, a dimension of being that brings inner fulfillment. 

Integrating a spiritual view of being happy with who we are, accepting of life as it is, gives our children a secure foundation.  At the root it means accepting that love is always naturally flowing through our lives.  Yes, we may be angry, annoyed or fearful, and feeling those emotions is part of our human journey.  Removing judgment about those emotions and ourselves, being present, and allowing the experience to move through brings us back to true happiness, which can only come from within.  As a parent you can model that connection to Spirit within for your children and step back as they explore.  Dr. Wayne Dyer stated it this way: “Guide and then step aside.”

Here are some ways to model spirituality to your Children:

Mindfulness and Meditation:

Take some time each day to quiet the minds and bodies.  Meditation can be fun and enjoyable.  Listening to relaxing music, Tibetan bowls, or nature sounds creates a spaciousness in the day where they feel calm. Start with 5 minutes of meditation at the same time each day. Use a simple technique like following the breath in and out to a count of 3.  When children begin to notice changes as a result of meditation, like feeling more centered, they will also begin to notice their own power to manage their emotions and their responses to outside stimuli.

Use “I Am” affirmations:

How do you describe yourself to your children? Remember to use positive self-talk when referring to yourself with your children.  We learn our belief systems when we are children, from our parents, family members, peers and teachers. How we speak about ourselves shows our children a positive or negative attitude toward life.
Search the internet for “I Am” affirmations for children. There are books and articles to help get your children involved in positive self-talk.  Affirmations will help your children with their self-mastery.

Experiment with the spiritual question, “Why am I here?”

In a joyful and playful approach to the question, offer reasons that evoke love, confidence, joy and happiness. Rather than making one’s purpose about money, status or working hard, bring a sense of enjoyment to simply being here in this moment, appreciating life as it is.
“I am here to listen to a bird’s song.”
“I am here to eat yummy bananas.”
“I am here to hug my mommy.”
“I am here to feel happy, sad, mad and free.”

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Have a question for Dear Marilyn? Send it to: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

If you are seeking support on your spiritual journey, Marilyn offers spiritual coaching and advising sessions by phone, Zoom or in person.  Reach out to her at (303) 819 2503.