…..and making the choice for love
It is clear that neglecting our hearts can mean losing out on some of the most wonderful experiences of life. Love is considered to be the primordial emotion of life; that feeling of being in heaven, or walking on air; a happiness that consumes us and profoundly affects mind, body and spirit. So why do many of us shun the calling of passion and light of love?
There are emotional and intellectual reasons for avoiding the thrill and the excitement of love that mostly have to do with insecurity and fear of losing control. The misery of being rejected, worry about becoming love-obsessed or attached, the highs and lows of relationships, and the comfort of a rational mind that wants consistency, influence our decisions and behavior around creatively expressing the emotion of love. Opening the heart to love is a personal choice but it is good to remember that when we look back at our lives, what we usually regret most are the roads not taken and those roads include passion, risk and putting our hearts out there in an attitude of willingness to experience the fullness of love.
Free From Fear
Maybe the idea of love isn’t really the problem. Consider that it might be the emotion of fear that puts up invisible barriers to light of love in your heart. Fear that results from expectations or desires that you think other people should meet on your terms. You can exercise the power of your thinking to free yourself from the barriers of fear. Getting free from (surrendering) fear is the solution, and connecting with your loving heart is the antidote.
The emotion of fear is simply an indication that you are not thinking thoughts that regard yourself as the magnificent being who you truly are. I like this quote from Marianne Williams that speaks to our hidden fear:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.”
Overcoming fear is not about trying to rid yourself of fear. It is not a good idea to push forward into an uncomfortable subject or situation in the feeling of fear because fear is an indication that things are not in alignment and moving in a direction you do not want. If you want to truly realize the magnificence of who you are, release the shackles of fear first. By finding more and more reasons to love yourself, your environment, the people around you, and appreciate the good things in your life you shift out of the energy of fear.
What follows are more and more impulses to think about and act on ideas that come from the heart, from feelings of love.
If you want something, including more feelings of love in your life, you can pivot your emotion by focusing on what it feels like to have what you want. Set aside the subject of what you want (and how you will get it) and focus more upon the emotion that you feel is the reason you would like it in your life. In other words, “I like feeling more excited, more free; I like the feeling of being able to choose; I like the feeling of heaven on earth, etc.” These are the positive feelings that feel that love – love of yourself, love of life, love expressing through you. You are looking for reasons to love and now there is no fear in the equation.
It is important to clear up fear before taking a step in any new direction or in pursuing a relationship, or you risk repeating negative patterns. You can put yourself in a new place or romance by consciously thinking about why you want it in a clear and positive way, resonating with the feeling of love. How do you know what that feeling of love is like if you have feeling fear? Through awareness to your emotions in the present moment, you can shift your feelings. You are the creator of your thoughts and becoming aware of how you feel is by paying attention to your what you are thinking. If you care about how you feel and keep a positive approach you can shift the feelings of fear. The heart and the mind come together and you are aligned with inner balance.
Touch and Let Go
This is about you and being selfish by caring about how you feel. If you focus on something that feels awful you have a momentum of thought going in a certain direction. The remedy is to step back and refocus on subjects that are easier, and more enjoyable. Smell the roses. It isn’t possible to release anxiety, you have to focus out of it. Your desire to feel good is more powerful than your fears and you can trust that a desire to feel good will lead you to well-being.
When you are experiencing fear know you can shift that feeling.Practice letting go and focusing on other things. You may find yourself re-experiencing the fear but be compassionate with yourself. Take a deep breath and step back from specifics by looking for general reasons to feel better in the moment. Pivot from an emotion of fear to an emotion of love. Fear tells you what you can’t do and it is up to you to tell yourself that you can.
Learn more about the Surrender Solution program and how you can learn to surrender fear
and emotions today.