Weather The Emotional Storms

When you have a setback in life, how do you cope or adjust?  Do you find yourself brooding and feeling heart-broken or do you spring back and find your emotional balance quickly? Weathering the storms of life requires that we bend in mental, emotional and physical ways we may not be prepared for.  Depending on how we respond to adverse circumstances we might forget how to bend and then find ourselves broken so badly that it can be hard to recover. Your emotional response really depends on how you are accustomed to navigating trying times and the inner attitude or mindset you employ in difficult situations. The good news is that if you are not feeling adept at overcoming negative events you can learn to become more resilient.

Invite resilience.

Everyone has the capacity for resiliency and those who seem to be able to bounce back quicker have just practiced using their resilience muscles more often.  Becoming aware of inner resistance to whatever challenge is coming your way is the first step in freeing yourself from the stress of adversity. What are you fighting?  What are you afraid of losing, facing or feeling? When powerful forces of life push you to the brink of emotional strain, then that is the time to bend, to bow and to let the harmful winds blow through you.  Nothing lasts forever, not even life-altering events, and the sting will heal unless you are rigid in your willingness to let it go. There’s no point in engaging in blame, and ruminating can leave you feeling emotionally paralyzed, unable to move forward.  If you can think about setbacks as temporary and allow yourself to bend a little, you will speed your emotional recovery.

At the base of the ability to regain emotional balance are choices you can make in the face of painful events. Think of these experiences as invitations to heal, grow and be elastic in your thinking and reacting.  Life brings all sorts of stressors from career setbacks to health crises and we can build the skills to meet these challenges. In other words, learn to regulate our emotions, be pro-active in our healing and choose behaviors that contribute to being resilient rather than stuck.

Emotional balance toolkit.

Create an emotional balance toolkit.  Everyone can benefit from having a toolkit of effective coping and recovery resources.  Instead of remaining blocked in the negative aspects of your experience allow yourself to center on other skills, interests and resources you have at your disposal.  Journal, write a new story, ask family and friends for support, enhance spirituality, practice mindfulness, use your compassion, understanding and ability to solve problems.

Scientists have discovered that navigating emotionally trying times is easier when you take an active part in your healing process. While you may experience trauma, it does not need to define you as a victim.  Use what you have learned through the trauma experience to help others and as you do you will find compassion to continue to heal yourself.

Remind yourself that you have overcome challenges before and while the one you are facing now may seem like the biggest it does not mean it will defeat you.  Take responsibility for your feelings and thoughts, and do something meaningful – something that makes you feel good. Wanting to feel better and taking small steps in that direction, signals your willingness to get into emotional balance.  Practice simple acts of kindness. When you are kind and actively cultivate kindness, you are taking advantage of a basic part of resilience and in caring about your life and the lives of others. The more you develop appreciation for life and the difference you make each day through acts of kindness the more resilient you will become.  As you step onto the path of emotional recovery with these small steps you grow, which, after all, is how we build resilience.

Take a look at my new course “Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be”
Recreate, reinvent, rebirth yourself! Move past resistance and procrastination and take the next step on your path to living your true self – stable, secure, satisfied and eager for more good.