WHAT ARE YOU FOCUSED ON?
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you know in your heart that you must make a change but you find the process so uncomfortable that you are paralyzed with fear? Perhaps you are sure about leaving a job, changing a living situation, letting go of a relationship or even a marriage, but you just cannot find the courage to make the move. You notice yourself thinking that it may be easier to just stay put than to take a leap into that uncomfortable zone and inner conflict is eating away at your happiness. Typically, the negative voice of doubt, “What if this backfires?” ”I’ve never been good at change.” “Is this the right thing to do?” starts to play in your head, hijack your emotions and you feel stuck. It might even seem that you have lost connection with the clarity and sense of purpose you once felt about your choice. You realize the reason for your original decision has become obscured by a hindering momentum that immobilizes you.
So now where are you and what can you do? The short answer is that you are so focused on possible downsides of making a change that you are dis-couraged by the fear. You have aligned your thinking with limitations and shut yourself off from possibilities that you deserve the joy you are seeking. In other words, you do not believe that within you is the wisdom, guidance and potential for more joy inspiring you and moving you on a path of well-being. Disconnect from that invisible part of yourself, where the Divine whispers and sparks your creativity allows uncertainty to creep in. What do you believe about yourself? Do you appreciate and see yourself as the unique, majestic being you are? Can you awaken to the possibility that you are meant to live a life of well-being, in control of your choices and creating the results you want?
COURAGE AND PERSPECTIVE
Knowing and appreciating who you are – the unique, inspired, creative essence of you, ignites self-confidence and taps into your potential for consciously creating whatever you want, free of fear and doubt. When you embrace who you are at your core, as well as everything that has led you to this point in your life, flaws and all, you access the self-truth that awakens courage and empowers you to claim your right to happiness. Rather than wandering lost in the emotions of fear and dependency on ideas that keep you focused in the past, you sense the energy of surety and the desire for something new coming together to create a clear path forward.
Finding courage isn’t about faking it, or pushing yourself into uncomfortable situations. Courage is having the intention to set aside a perspective that sees your choices and circumstances as holding the power to make you a victim. A perspective based upon defeatist beliefs that did not originate in you. Courage is recognizing fear and consciously letting go of it for the sake of becoming more fulfilled, more happy and true to yourself. It is accepting the fact that while you may have discomfort, you are willing to allow yourself to receive something greater than what might be holding you back.
Courage has the power to change your life because courage offers you the opportunity to check in with what really matters, you! Once you are aligned with that in an honest, intentional way, courage is a symbol of your integrity and paves the way for you to walk your talk.
How do you know when you are aligned with your courage to forge a new direction? You feel good. There is an emotional sensation of freedom, of love and of connection with the good feeling energy of your desire. If you are like most people, you have practiced being critical of yourself. The reason we do that is because others, even those who are well meaning in their intentions, have held what we do or say as needing to be different so they can feel better. We learn to think that we are not standing in a good place with our desires or the reasons we want something to change. Conscious courage is really the determination to feel the goodness, worthiness and truth that you are and let that carry you through resistance, fear or anxiety to the next step on your path. You do not have to know all of the details and how things will come about. You only have to make up your heart and mind that you matter, your ideas matter and your dreams matter.
Here’s a way to be consciously courageous in any situation:
- Start with accepting that you may have negative feelings about your ability to move forward. Your emotions are clearly evidence of what you have been feeling about yourself up until now. But recognize that while you may be down on yourself and feeling fear, those are learned ideas that came from the opinions and beliefs of others. Maybe you adopted them from your family or bought into the judgments of peers. It does not matter where they came from. You have the power to shift into love, forgiveness and courage, now, in the present moment, because you are more than the sum total of past inaccurate conclusions.
- Ask yourself, how has fear been playing out in my life? What have I been thinking about myself (or saying to myself) that is dis-couraging? (e.g. “I don’t have the success I think I should have.” “I can never make a good decision.” Etc.) Understand that this negative emotion is both the blocking and denial of your potential; and you have a choice to continue feeling that way. It may have been a subconscious choice up until today, but now you are ready to see it as an opportunity to consciously choose differently.
- Take a piece of paper and pen, or a journal and start to describe to yourself what courage feels like. Does it feel like worthiness? How would courage play out in your life? Think of a scenario in your life (start with something easy) where you can demonstrate courage; i.e. realize what you want and allow yourself to be bound by nothing in achieving it. What does that courage feel like? Connect with the inner energy of courage in your body and see it flowing into the situation you are thinking about. Visualize yourself stepping into the scenario now and feel the courage swirling around you. Revel in it a little longer.
- When you have an idea that feels really good, practice conscious courage by acknowledging that your ideas are important, and deserve to be seen and noticed. Catch a glimpse of how wonderful and good it is that you give birth to new ideas. Pay attention to any inspiration that arises to take the next step toward realizing your idea and confidently follow through. The courage is there and will naturally move you forward when you can start caring a lot more about how you are riding the current with who you are meant to be.
My name is Marilyn and I teach people how to turn fear to freedom. My personal struggle with fear inspired me to help people learn to live as they are meant to be; enjoying powerful, fulfilling lives which they create and control. You can find out more about my story and how we can work on solutions to anxiety, panic, loss, hopelessness and fear together, on my personal page: www.marilyndecalo.com