What Else Is Possible?

What Else Is Possible?

STUCK IN THE SAME OLD STORY

 

Have you ever noticed the way events, relationships or outcomes to circumstances repeat in similar ways in your life? What if things appear the same way because you tend to look at your life and who you are from the same point of view year after year? For example, I have had jobs that offered me an income yet I never believed they were going to make me rich. In fact, I often felt underpaid. My point of view was based upon a belief I held that the kind of job that I was qualified for, or that I could get (ergo, that I deserve) would never make me rich. Interesting point of view! Rather than step beyond the limited belief I held about myself and jobs in general, I accepted my supposed fate begrudgingly. Why would I choose that? Why would anyone choose that perspective of themselves and their life? Aren’t we creative, powerful human beings with the ability to achieve our dreams? Or is that just for some other folks and not for me?

 

Emphasizing the Problems

 

It was life-changing to realize that I viewed myself as a victim rather a creator. I had seen myself as a limited being, defined by my education, up-bringing, religion, gender and a host of other external conditions. Unconsciously, I had bought the story that there are certain situations in life that are insurmountable which made me feel less than who I truly am. But when I started to question my reasons for denying my greatness, my human right to joy and fulfillment I realized I had to stop choosing problems, which was happening even while I thought I was seeking answers. The significance that I had given to relationship issues, body image, lack of money and career stagnation was all based on what wasn’t working for me and looking for answers to what I thought was lacking in me or my life was keeping me focused and stuck in the problems. This may sound counter-intuitive, like you can’t find an answer if you don’t examine the problem; but I have come to realize that there is more possibility for joyful outcomes through questioning what else is possible, what might be more true for me beyond the reality of the problem, and then opening to allow my inner self to guide me in the moment. There is a magic to living when I honor my innate goodness and connection with my divinity. I trust that my path will unfold easily, authentically and in balance free from the conditioned emotions of past experiences. That I am given what I need when I ask. This means that while I may listen to the viewpoint or perspective of another, I can give up comparing myself to others, ask myself what I want and choose just for me. When I ask what else is possible it is up to me to be aware of how I am feeling, surrender control and allow my inner guidance to give me the answers that will create the change I desire. This awareness, this sense of appreciation for my ability to consciously guide myself with compassion in alignment with inner knowing honors the true genius and unique being I truly am.

 

Are you enjoying the possibilities for your life?

 

Consider what comes up for you when you are in judgment of yourself. Is there something that you don’t like about yourself? If you are down on yourself then reaching for a solution from that feeling of dissatisfaction only perpetuates the fact that you are uncomfortable with who you are or what you are doing. The good news is that recognizing when you are judging yourself is an opportunity to ask some questions about what else is possible that will shift you into satisfaction. Start with appreciation for the many ways you are supporting yourself and the unique abilities that make you, you. Notice any thoughts that arise that tell you, you aren’t capable and remember they are just an interesting point of view, not set in stone. Ask yourself, what would open up for me is I started enjoying myself? What could I create in my life if I see myself and my life as an endless gift? You will discover yourself to be a greater person than you had realized.

 

Are you ready to start transforming your emotions and thoughts? Private coaching sessions are available.

Reset Life With The Energy Of Joy

Reset Life With The Energy Of Joy

SEEKING JOY

 

 

 

I have sought more joy in my life for a very long time. Since adulthood I have inherently known that joy is fundamental to a meaningful, fulfilled life. However, it was not until I realized I had grown to identify with, and even desire things that kept me from feeling truly joyful that I discovered joy is always an inside job.

 

Why would I do that? Why did I lose touch with my true inner joy to begin with? To get to the root of all of that would be quite a saga. I could go through a long list of values ascribed to conditions and systems I believed were not only real but vital to my survival. I could go back to childhood and dig through family beliefs about money or love. I might even try to understand when and under what influence I felt I had to prove the value of my existence. In any event suffice it to say that I learned to turn my power over to outside conditions; giving the appearance of things, circumstances and events the ability to make or break me according to their standards. My security, success and self-worth depended on achievements determined as valid by the chorus of critics I deemed as official in the outside world.

 

Here are the questions I asked that helped me realize I had not consciously listened to the call of my true joy up to that point: What is the music that my soul wants to sing through me? What is the wisdom that I have been carrying around that wants to express in my life’s purpose? What am I passionate about at my core that is uniquely me?

 

Once I asked those questions everything that was in the way of knowing the answers showed up for me to step beyond. I had to get real with the fact that coming into joyful, satisfied living meant that I acknowledge I am more than what I had chosen to be up to that point. I had to understand that I had been reacting to beliefs that I could be stymied; that others held the power over me, even when I thought I was coming up with solutions to problems. My focus was still on the problems. Kind of like being in a room and looking for a way out but being trapped by a belief that those four walls have to contain a doorway. Maybe the answer is jumping over the walls.

 

I held some pretty rigid beliefs about what joy should look like from others’ perspectives and my ego often pointed out when I was not meeting expectations around happiness. I began to notice as those limiting ideas about what joy should be surfaced by paying attention to my emotions of disappointment and self-judgment. You see, I was defining joy based mostly upon my emotional reaction to conditions I thought were not working out in my life, rather than what I truly felt joyful about coming from my individual heart and soul. I had gotten into the habit of pushing against what I did not want instead of feeling empowered to determine and create what I wanted. Believing in the power of my own unique dreams and desires, believing in my worthiness and deservedness was the path to recognizing the power within.

 

As I practiced meditation during which I allowed calm and peace to flow through my body I discovered the experience of a new reality, of living in conscious connection with the pure inner essence of who I am more and more. My priority became tuning into an energy of inner clarity and wisdom; of making peace with myself and my life in the present moment and knowing that when I focus on my inner goodness all is well for me. I began to see myself and my life through the eyes of love rather than fear. I stopped labeling feelings as negative and listened to what they were telling me about my beliefs. I accepted that I am a multi-faceted person with a unique, creative perspective. From this place of contentment I became motivated to embark on a path of living in conscious connection with the true source of my joy – my soul self. My path to joy has been winding but ultimately it is leading me to become more fully who I am as a wholly loved and loving, divine human being.

 

 

 

What if I have the power to create what is joyfully calling to me from within?

 

 

 

The answers that came through my questioning experience changed my perspective because I was able to recognize when I was feeling disempowered. The shift came when I chose to own my power to create what felt joyful to me. Letting conditions control my emotional reactions kept me feeling like a victim. How had I lost that sense of living through my personal power? I recalled what it felt like to be a child playing in the park, rolling in the grass, looking up at the sky, the birds chirping in the background. That child-like freedom to express, to feel, to enjoy and to explore in the moment was enlivening. When had I stopped being a conduit for the expression of that joy?

 

I have learned that we really never stop questioning, discovering and experiencing who we are in new ways. It is an eternal process. But I did want to understand how to be happy more of the time, and to live from a place of freedom and self-love rather than judgement and fear. So the next step was to understand how to be consistent with the process of creating from joy. I mentioned that once I started asking how to live with more joy many limiting beliefs that stood in the way of confidently hearing and following the call to joy came up for me to recognize. Part of my process has been to take time each morning to listen to my inner self-talk. Am I satisfied with what I tell myself or is it uncomfortable?

 

As I first practiced feeling my feelings around not being worthy or good enough I easily slipped back into feelings of failure, shame and guilt. There were times when I just couldn’t stop the merry-go-round of pain and I was easily flung off into the worst-case scenario of whatever issue I was confronting. I have to say one thing about myself here – I am one of the most determined people I know about this subject of evolving into what I call, higher consciousness. I have been on a journey of discovering how to communicate with the divine within me since I first tried a ouiji board as a teenager. The journey has been mired with false expectations followed by revelations, followed by painful beliefs, anxiety, feeling dejected and essentially all of the crap I threw in the way of loving myself through life. As I look at this journey to date I recognize that these have all been growth opportunities that have led me to present perceptions. I never gave up on my intention to be more, to know more to change and to grow. The idea of experiencing the fullness of unconditional love – how beautiful and wonderful that experience must be – has

 

called me forward through examination and experiences in religious organizations, a variety of education approaches, traumatic incidents, international travels, family relationships and dynamics, spiritual teachers and professional careers. In many cases I would get swallowed up by negative feelings that resulted from any less than comfortable experiences. While I was very good at hiding those feelings, they remained underneath my world-view and colored the way I approached life – it became harder and more difficult to be happy.

 

The upside of looking at life through lenses clouded by fear and a need to control conditions is that I have learned to come to myself mindfully and compassionately. I can recognize when I have fallen into an old energy pattern and see its undermining pull into panic or anxiety. Herein lies the ongoing work of self-awareness. This process is actually something that I have consciously integrated into my life in order to manage my intentions and attention to joy. It is also the source of my power to create my life through joy.

 

 

 

Self-Acceptance is Key

 

 

 

What is that we need to understand in order to change our self-perception from weak, powerless and fearful to strong, creative and free? Not only to think of ourselves differently but to actually shift into a consciousness that is open to a new way of living. Cultivating the courage to be willing to step into a perception of the self beyond uncomfortable beliefs and limitations and hit “reset” is one thing.  Courage also allows us to trust in a process of growth, integration and acceptance of who we are wholly -body, mind and spirit.  Being aware of our emotions also supports willing self-discovery. Sometimes we refer to this process as “finding our purpose”.

 

But how can we find our purpose if we do not accept that our unique personal dreams and desires are integral to our creative message, our unique gifts; and that our inner essence is a powerful energy always available to tap into to express that beautiful, unique spark? Loving ourselves for who we are, unconditionally, demonstrates the self-acceptance and belief that allows the cooperative energies of the universe to join us, to work through us to bring our personal joy to life. That means being responsible for how we feel, what we think and why we want what we want in a loving way – whatever feels right and good to you and you alone. This may sound selfish to some, but if we cannot love ourselves, how can we accept or love another? If we do not love ourselves will others love us? The adage about hiding your light under a bushel is this very idea. We each have a light, a spark, a radiant glow within that guides us to that which is joyful. I am on an intentional quest to follow that spark, to breathe into it and allow it to grow, and see life through the eyes of the amazing creator of joy that I am. I have lived the opposite of that and it has not served to lift me up, or those around me. It is time to surrender the reasons why I cannot be joyful, and consciously embrace the never-ending magic of a fully free and joyful life.

 

If you would like to understand how to connect with your unique, inner spark of joy and reset your path forward through love, harmony and peace, rather than struggle, reach out to me for a consultation. marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

 

Rebuilding After Divorce

Rebuilding After Divorce

Amy Satori is an intuitive spiritual counselor and healer. A warm and loving light-bearer who offers her clients keen insights along their paths of self-transformation. Amy and I met at the Lighthouse Bookstore in Boulder where she is a psychic reader. In our conversation during my reading we discovered a mutual interest in supporting those going through periods of uncertainty and loss during divorce and relationship break-up. The Amy Satori podcast show turned out to be a perfect vehicle for us to discuss how to be empowered along the journey of new beginnings through divorce. We offer practical advice, resources, and self-care ideas that speak to the process of rebuilding during this major life transition.

You can listen to this podcast below.

To hear more of Amy’s Podcasts you can visit her Podcast page here.

Fall Back in Love With Your Life After Loss

Fall Back in Love With Your Life After Loss

When loss happens and the life you once knew –  at one time loved –  comes to an end, it is important to know how to connect with your inner strength and wisdom. Navigating the ensuing journey of heart-ache and pain from losing a job, a loved one or a relationship can leave you feeling disempowered, unsupported and uncertain of yourself at times. Emotions may be overwhelming, but through my own experience of loss and heart-ache, I found that the surest way out of turmoil was to reconnect with the truth, love and support of my inner-self, listen to the wisdom behind the pain and honor the path I was walking, hand in hand with my spiritual nature.

 

Emotional Mastery is Key to Moving On

 

To regain my center and self-confidence I had to be being willing to be with my emotions, be honest about how feel; accept the negative and positives of the situation, learn to manage your stress and shift your thinking from what makes you angry and fearful to self-compassion.  My spiritual truth became my litmus test when my thoughts started spinning and I felt out of control. I learned to say, “How is this feeling serving me – all of me, right now?” You might also find that having a support network of those who understand what you are going through, and who are willing to listen without judgment as you experience the ups and downs is helpful as you work through emotions. A friend, family member, support group or therapist can make the difference in a day when you are vacillating between hope and hopelessness.

Especially in the early stages the constant flux of difficult emotions makes it challenging to focus on anything, let alone finding the courage to take next step forward. With life turned upside down, you may not be able to make positive, constructive choices.  All too often people make important decisions about finances, possessions or children in states of confusion and emotional imbalance.  This is where being in tune with the truth of your essential self, inviting answers that speak your truth will inspire perspective, insight and guidance that you confidently act upon. Most importantly you will know how to right your keel when you get out of balance.

 

Practice Compassion

 

In my work as a therapist, I find that many people who are looking to heal from loss are focused on ‘fighting back’ as opposed to clearly thinking about their own future.  They are unclear about their priorities or how to start over; afraid of financial repercussions or how they will find meaning again. It can all be exhausting and stagnating. You can let go of the battle. Learning to acknowledge worry, and let it go; getting off of the merry-go-round of fear about making a mistake (it is normal to make mistakes); these are some of the ways to strike a healthier balance and open yourself to compassion rather than closing off in anger.

Be willing to fall back in love with yourself and your life. Be someone you like and care about. Allow time each day to connect within, intentionally open to the potential for new creative expression that feeds your soul on deep level.  Rather than seeking approval or validation from others, find compassion for yourself and everything in your life that led to this point in time.  Embrace the ups and downs and let go of self- judgment. To turn things around find things you are passionate about, dream about the future and trust in your own goodness.  Love your soul, love that you are alive, and love the beauty to be found in each new day.  Slowly, surely you will fall back in love with your life.

What can you say “Yes” to in your life that evokes the feeling of love? A favorite park, a beach or a place in the world?  Movies, books, or museums? Love may have disappeared in your relationship or from your career, but love remains eternal as the foundational energy the universe.

 

Here are 3 powerful ways to fall in love with your life:

  • Take some time each day to focus your thoughts and energy on things that you enjoy.  Tune into your heart and ask, what do I love that feels freeing and energizing?  Make a list of those things and listen to what they are telling you about reorganizing your life or reinventing yourself.  Thinking about your life can be very freeing!
  • Make a decision to be happy and make being happy a priority.  Yes, there are up days and down days in life, but the gap between them can become much narrower when you know what makes you happy and decide to dwell there more often.  Don’t let pain, overwhelm or sadness consume you and become who you are.  Healthy balance is the key to feeling good.
  • Be the person who is responsible for how you feel.  Stop blaming others for your hurt, and connect with your inner power to become who you are meant to be – a fuflfilled, satisfied, joyful being having a worthwhile, unique life adventure.  No one can make you worry or feel fear.  When they arise let them flow through you and leave.  It is possible to take responsibility for everything you think, say and do.  Then when you make a decision about doing something you are prioritizing yourself, and not relying on others to make you feel good.

 

 

Self- Paced Course “Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be” is open for enrollment. In this course you will be taking a deep dive within in order to understand who you are meant to be. You will make shifts in your awareness and thinking to get the results you want, and live your life passionately, joyfully, and with meaning.

Be the Captain of Your Heart

Be the Captain of Your Heart

Be the Captain of Your Heart and You Will Be the Captain of Your Life

What kind of life do you desire to live?  All human beings want to be happy and live a good life, but what does that truly mean to you deep down?  I had the pleasure of speaking with a master and commander recently who, full of enthusiasm and expectation for a joyful, gentle, abundant and love-filled life (his words), explained to me how he had become not only captain of his ship but captain of his life.

I was impressed by the captain’s conviction that life was his for the asking and enjoyment of it, and I was curious about how he had come to his wonderfully enthusiastic perspective.

The commander told me that it hadn’t always been that way.  He had made a conscious choice to have a gentle, happy, easy life after losing a difficult battle with the sea while captaining his boat and a crew.  Following his ordeal, the commander isolated himself on remote islands off the coast of Australia, carrying a painful burden of despair. After going through some months of feeling distraught, questioning the value of his life, he discovered the voice of his inner explorer beckoning, becoming louder each day even as he focused on his pain. It took him a while to listen, he said, but soon his inner calling was just too loud to ignore.  He realized he needed to make some decisions about not only what he wanted next but how he wanted to feel. Would he continue to wallow in hurt and or use his pain as an opportunity to make some positive changes? Just that bit of soul searching put him on a better feeling trajectory where hope could enter his heart.

Pretty soon he was telling himself things like, “nothing but the best,” and “ignore the beast, follow the feast” (his words, again). That remarkable shift in the core of his thinking and feeling allowed him to slowly, consciously pilot his life forward; and that was the key difference – he was consciously piloting his life now. I could sense the power and truth of what his inner shift had led him to know because as he spoke to me I could feel his expectation of happiness resonate in my heart.

Challenges Are Opportunities

The captain commanded his desires into fruition because first, he came to understand and command the power of his own conscious, emotional awareness. Creative energy or creative expression is set through the energy of emotions (e-motion) and we have choices in each moment about how we feel. The captain recognized his inner power to feel good by lining up his emotional (or feeling) nature with his desires.   He made the important decision to keep his focus on inner (heart) happiness and from there everything else flows.

Beginning with just a slight bit of inner hope – the inner call to renew his adventure of exploring – and then openly questioning his path forward, the commander had simply surrendered resistance and became willing to recreate himself and his life.  The universe responded by offering evidence of the power of his decision to become a deliberate creator – his life is filled with wonderful new adventures but more importantly, his heart is full of the love that attracts all those adventures. He is a conduit for his own joyful energy, the same joyful energy each and every one of us can experience.

How do you become the captain of your heart?

Becoming the captain of your heart is not about the manifestation of things.  We tend to put our energy and effort into what we want to acquire rather than on feeling good first.   Captains of the heart are pleased with what they think about and feel as they come into harmony with their true, innermost creativity and desires.  That starts with being okay with where you are in this moment, here and now.

The captain made a decision to feel good in his experience of life, in the present moment where he was standing. That decision summoned the energy of hope and inspired him to use his growing conscious awareness to conjure his life on his terms.

The value of emotionally soul-searching for why you want what you want until you feel it is yours in your heart is that in the process your energy for creating your desires grows stronger. That is the eternal secret the captain discovered. Now he watches the manifestations of his joyful heart move into and through his life daily with surprise and delight.

Seeing With The Heart

In my new book, Seeing With The Heart, I take the reader through a guided journey of exploring and growing a heart-felt connection with their true self. Opening the door to loving oneself, finding compassion for where you stand and connecting with authentic power is the process for stepping to the helm of your joyful life. I invite you to take the next step and become the captain of your heart.

The Self-Transformation Path

The Self-Transformation Path

Part 1: Connecting With Your Inner Self

Recently while writing my book, Seeing With The Heart, I learned how deeply transformational taking a new perspective – a more relaxed, inner heart-filled perspective –  can be. Many of us have successfully reinvented ourselves at some point in our lives in an effort to get ahead in our careers, fulfill a dream like having a family, or perhaps become more fit to improve our health.  Unlike trying to make changes in what you do in order to achieve a specific goal, I am going to talk about a different approach, a paradigm shift approach to creating a life you love that involves shifting your perspective, opening your inner connection to your divine self, and consciously expressing inner energy in your thoughts, words and actions.

A Steady Source of Guidance Within

First, the perspective shift is awareness and understanding that any outer manifestation is determined by your consciousness in any given moment, and that you can develop your inner guidance to become your own authority and expand your consciousness.  Are you feeling emotionally balanced and enjoying your circumstances? Is your mood positive and uplifted? While ups and downs are normal in our daily lives, a general overall and pervasive feeling of hopelessness is a state of consciousness that usually means you are letting your happiness be dictated by outside conditions. The way to shift that is to solidly establish your inner connection with the ever-present energetic flow of your divine self, which is the co-creative source energy that guides you, rather than by taking actions to correct or make things happen in the outer world.  This connection has been referred to as intuition, soul awakening and universal energy and it can be realized when you expand your sense of self through heart-centered or spiritual vision. It is not a surrendering of control. By any name it is simply opening to your soul’s voice, living your path with an empowered consciousness that brings the ideas, energy, vision, clarity and connections you need to move forward with your goals confidently and in sync with your authentic self. By receiving the power, love, wisdom, peace and inspiration that flows as you explore and perceive with the loving guidance of your inner self you can dissolve thoughts, beliefs and limitations that might emotionally impede you from experiencing all the good things you desire. Inner alignment to the core energy of your divine self-supports you in transforming your life experience from fear to freedom, feeling the love and guidance of the universe billowing your sails on your journey.

The Gift of Inner Connection

Your connection with your inner self is the biggest gift you can offer to yourself and those who surround you. It is the cornerstone of awakening human consciousness and engaging in the work of personal transformation in our lives as well as contributing to the shift of living more harmoniously in our communities.  Through heart-centered and awareness practices like journaling, meditation, nature walks, and other mindfulness activities you usher in and strengthen your connection to pure, positive energy. You choose those relationships and circumstances that radiate similar energy and grow through joy rather than through pain. Your resistance is lessened and you no longer need be affected by other people’s opinions, moods or energy. Every level of your life and consciousness changes, bringing new perspectives on your life, purpose and relationships.

Standing in the center of your inner energy, aligned with your true nature, seeing yourself and others through your heart, is the most powerful path of transformation.  This is how you bring through what you want to create in its most beautiful form, and in the process, give back to yourself the energy of love and joy. Seeing With The Heart is intended to assist you in opening up to the gentle and sweet consciousness of the truth of your being at whatever level of receptivity you are currently experiencing.

Exercise for Conscious Inner Connection

Here is an exercise for lifting up to the light within that allows you to more easily change your life.

  • Start by relaxing and getting comfortable.  Take several deep breaths slowly in and out.
  • Affirm that you are wise, loving, confident and powerful.
  • If you are ready to enter a new chapter of your life, you are already experiencing inner changes.  Your divine self is motivating you to make changes and showing you the way. Take a moment to acknowledge your inner, true self.
  • Think of the area of your life you wish to change.  Feel your divine self within you permeating your being, calling you forward on your path. Allow the divine self to shower that area with light, feeling it fill up and brighten up with warm, pink, gold light.
  • Ask that any blocks, thoughts, beliefs, emotions that might hold you back be released. Acknowledge and give permission for them to leave.
  • Ask for and open to receive from your divine self the qualities to move forward – inspiration, clear guidance, motivation and opportunities.
  • Picture your inner light growing brighter resonating with your desire and all those you encounter you can benefit from this light. Visualize your light connecting with all the cells in your body, and going forth from you with love to light your way, radiating to the earth, others and the universe.
  • Now let your vision go and retain the feeling that it has happened, you have received the change with joy.  Be open and expect things to change.

Seeing With The Heart- Guided Inspiration Journal

Marilyn Decalo Logo, Phoenix

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