Rebuilding After Divorce

Rebuilding After Divorce

Amy Satori is an intuitive spiritual counselor and healer. A warm and loving light-bearer who offers her clients keen insights along their paths of self-transformation. Amy and I met at the Lighthouse Bookstore in Boulder where she is a psychic reader. In our conversation during my reading we discovered a mutual interest in supporting those going through periods of uncertainty and loss during divorce and relationship break-up. The Amy Satori podcast show turned out to be a perfect vehicle for us to discuss how to be empowered along the journey of new beginnings through divorce. We offer practical advice, resources, and self-care ideas that speak to the process of rebuilding during this major life transition.

You can listen to this podcast below.

To hear more of Amy’s Podcasts you can visit her Podcast page here.

Opening to Fully Express My Divine Self

Opening to Fully Express My Divine Self

LIFE MASTERY IS SELF MASTERY

 

Awakening to and embracing the Divine Self is a path of self-discovery and transformation. As we evolve our understanding of who we are beyond limitations conceived of by the outside world we undergo a shift in conscious awareness.  We learn to surrender the excuses and barriers to the truth we have hidden in our hearts and allow inner wisdom to guide us toward knowing and creatively expressing our unique gifts. We come to believe and live in the majesty of our inner essence as divine beings, knowing we are loved beyond measure.; deserving of all good and well-being.  This expanded, new awareness of who we truly are grows stronger as we continue to connect with it in our daily experiences. We connect more consistently with the energy of joy and love at our core, align our physical and etheric energetic fields with the pure positive light of the divine self and become fortified with our own creative power. The naysayers and chaotic voices of the world that tell us we are less than magnificent beings become fewer and softer. We find our balance and footing to think, feel and act empowered by love in the midst of all circumstances. And when we feel the tug of old conflicts, tension and fear rising within we are more easily able to recognize that an energy or thought pattern may still exist that does not serve us any longer. Rather than labeling those feelings as bad or negative, we accept that this is an energy pattern that has surfaced once again and now we can let it go; surrender the old belief that is holding it in place. Simply breathing in deeply, noticing, feeling and letting go. When we practice awareness and acceptance of innate divine love we retain access to that space of inner calm and compassion for ourselves – the Divine Self perspective – while simply allowing the old energy to dissolve. It sounds like a blissful path, right? I believe it truly can be.

 

Uncloaking Expression of The Divine Self

 

We can choose to be on a path to consciously, fully know and express the Divine Self. I have learned that when we make the choice to be on the path, divine authentic love is always present and never varies. It is divine love that inspires me from within to stay on the path. Nonetheless it is a winding path; at times I am on it and then I might step off when I face challenges or undergo unexpected life changes. At those times I realize that confusion inevitably sets in, so I have learned to return to the path of the Divine Self where clarity and unconditional love serves me and helps me find forgiveness, surrender and peace.

When I am questioning my purpose, wondering if I am worthy of fulfilling my dreams or facing doubt about my next step, I ask for assistance from my Divine Self and the answer is always given from love. I have come to allow that love to uplift me and carry me to new realms of possibility in my imagination, thoughts and feelings. It is an experience beyond words, beyond willpower, and without effort. A glorious synchronization with the powerful energy of love that is who we are as the fully embodied Divine Self.

 

Question For You:

How do you express your Divine Self?

 

Each of us is a unique expression of love, a spark of divinity and the majesty of life. Through our desires and dreams, our imagination and thoughts we create what our inner essence wishes to express in the world. We are scientists, dancers, visionaries, innovators, authors or a variety of other expressions of our gifts. When we walk our path in alignment with the energy of Divine Self we authentically express divine love in our work, our home, and our community. It feels like joy, truth and knowing what we want is ours without a doubt; that we can create what brings us happiness, uplifting us and others as we engage in life each day. Think about a desire, a celebration, a project, a child, an event in the tapestry of your life that brings you complete and glorious joy. This is an expression of the connection with your Divine Self. You can consciously identify and create more of these experiences simply by feeling the essential divine love at the core of the energy surrounding you in those moments. Amp it up, let it flow! You are on your path to consciously expressing your Divine Self.

Be sure to check out my previous blog posts “Evolving Into The Divine Self” Part One and Part Two. 

Vulnerable : What Does It Mean To Be Vulnerable?

Vulnerable : What Does It Mean To Be Vulnerable?

What Is Vulnerability?

 

Lately I have been thinking about how I experience vulnerability. Due to my recent desire to understand and embrace the full range of my emotional response to what has felt like overwhelm with life challenges, I have found myself on new ground,  Rather than deny any uncomfortable feelings I am opening up to welcome and explore new dimensions of myself, including vulnerability.The experience has spurred conversations with like-minded spiritual seekers about what it means to allow myself to feel vulnerable. In the past when the subject of vulnerability has come up I usually avoided it. This time the conversation focused on opportunities for growth yielded from feeling one’s vulnerability. At first, I found myself sidestepping the conversation, and then I stopped to ask why. I asked myself and my friends directly, “What might vulnerability offer that I am afraid to experience?” The responses I received from my inner self, enhanced by comments from friends were insightful, profound and changed my view of what true vulnerability means.

 

Is Feeling Vulnerable a Negative?

 

Many of us believe that feeling vulnerable is a negative – a state of feeling helpless or indefensible to others who might be able to take advantage of our weakened position emotionally, physically or mentally. This is an old paradigm, so to speak, of vulnerability – feeling weak like a victim. It comes from beliefs – mine or others – that I am unsafe, insecure or unstable. While certain situations in our childhood or past might fuel these beliefs and contribute to our present understanding of vulnerability, shifting our thinking about vulnerability offers many positive rewards along our paths to living an authentic, joyful life.

I realize now that it is possible to transform beliefs about what it means to be vulnerable, and a more positive mindset allows us to accept and feel vulnerability without fear.  The old paradigm is based upon an egotistical perspective that wants to protect and shield us from detrimental situations or experience, which is all right and good, but the basis of that paradigm is the belief that we need protecting, that someone can hurt us. The truth is that once we recognize our power over our emotions and thoughts we can set our boundaries and no one can truly hurt us unless we give our permission.

 

True Vulnerability

True vulnerability opens the heart to be all that we are, to accept and cherish the human blended with the divine experience of life on earth, to find the compassion and caring that creates change in our perspectives of one another and the evolution of us an individuals and societies. This may seem to contradict the tenets of the MeToo movement or instances where domestic violence, police brutality, racism or child abuse are prevalent. But when we stop seeing ourselves through the eyes of beliefs steeped in a fear-based world and realize that we are the embodied power of love, able to create a love-filled world, then that belief becomes our rock, our inner strength, our north star, our core essence – always available to fuel our creative expression in the world. We now see ourselves and experience life much differently; indeed, our reality shifts. We feel compassionate, caring; and as we come to understand suffering or struggle as a common human experience we consciously uplift ourselves making a difference in how we shape our lives.

Being vulnerable today means that I am ready to go to my next level of awareness and insight – spiritually, emotionally and mentally – unconditionally. I am ready to tune into my intuition, trust in my intentions for creating a life of well-being and love with no judgements. When I am vulnerable now I am open to new revelations about myself, not stuck in the past or limiting myself with excuses why I cannot enjoy what I desire. I open my heart, like a book, and let others read it, unafraid of how I might be perceived because I am comfortable with my story. This is the real me, ready to accept and connect with who I am on a pure, authentic, positive level.

 

Other Ways Of Experiencing Vulnerability

There are other ways to experience vulnerability like looking up at a starry sky and feeling awe over our celestial and earthly magnificence. The strong emotion of awe is profound and magical; it allows us to be vulnerable, to be filled with the emotional energy of essential goodness which permeates and at the same time transcends daily life.

It takes a bit of courage to let down the guard, reveal the truth that vulnerability frees, live authentically and allow the world to know us as we know ourselves. Freedom is the gift of vulnerability – willing to be in that open space of feeling and receiving the goodness we truly are and deserve, confident in our connection with the energy of divine love.

I am curious about what vulnerability means to you. Please share your thoughts and feelings in the comments.

 

Enrollment is now open in my online course “Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be”. This self-paced course will be taking you on a deep dive within in order to understand who you are meant to be and make the shifts in your awareness and thinking to get the results you want to live life passionately, joyfully, and satisfied.

Mindfulness For Stress Relief

Mindfulness For Stress Relief

TRY SOME SELF-HELP MINDFULNESS TO GET STRESS, ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION UNDER CONTROL

 

The most dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. If you are not mindful of your thinking, emotions or energy levels when dealing with stress, you can go from an inability to effectively cope with stressful situations to a more severe cycle of mood swings and a more profound negative outlook on yourself and life. If you notice yourself saying things like, “I’m a failure”, “I’m not cut out to succeed”, or “I always make mistakes”, or you find yourself worrying more often, unable to concentrate or focus, then stress has taken a turn into anxiety or depression. More frequent negative thoughts lead to self-judgment and negative emotions which deepen feelings of helplessness, a hallmark of anxiety and depression. Getting professional treatment for depression is vital but mindfulness can help in both treatment and prevention of anxiety and depression with tools that keep the emotional cycle of negative thinking, rumination and worry from getting severe. Learning to recognize anxiety responses and manage anxiety accordingly is the best way to eliminate that helpless, out-of-control feeling. Despite what stressful situations may be happening in your life you can control your reactions to them so that feeling stressed isn’t inevitable.

Mindfulness skills and strategies to cope with emotional overwhelm can be effective complementary treatments and contribute to the development of long term emotional self-regulation. The practice of mindfulness, cultivating awareness of the present moment, has been researched and shown to lessen stress reactions to challenging events. Mindfulness techniques have also been proven to be an effective alternative to drugs or pain medication for treating symptoms in people prone to anxiety and depression.

Mindfulness Meditation

 

The purpose of meditation is to quiet the mind, relax the body and allow a state of calm and peace to dominate and soothe the physical, mental and emotional apparatus. Strengthening one’s ability to relax in this still and quiet state trains the mind to release attachment to over-thinking. The benefits of meditation to those with anxiety and depression include increased focus, attention and concentration. Meditation also trains the mind to release thoughts of past or future events and to be present in the moment. With improved awareness around thoughts and emotions, when negative thoughts arise it becomes possible to choose and touch back into better feelings of well-being and friendliness toward oneself. With practice, meditation teaches us to use our own inner wisdom to recognize subtle feelings of mental and emotional imbalance, realize that negative thoughts are not facts and refocus thinking into the present.

 

Here’s how:

1. Set aside 5 minutes so you can relax and not be disturbed. You can set your phone timer and turn on calming music if you like.

2. Get into a comfortable seated position with hands in your lap and feet on the floor. Let your shoulders drop and relax. Close your eyes and focus inward.

3. Take 3 or 4 deep breaths and allow your mind to focus lightly on the incoming and outgoing breath. Visualize the tension leaving your body from your head to your feet, and imagine the stress, fear or worry draining from you through your toes; with each breath simply melting away.

4. Continue to breath and allow any thoughts or thinking to gently leave your mind, flowing down a river and out to the sea. Let them go and return your focus to the present moment and your breathing once again.

5. Keep going with this for five minutes and as you return to your day feeling more relaxed and refreshed, use this focus practice to calm yourself when you notice an anxious emotion or thought reaction. Simply focus on your breath and let your thoughts slip down the river as you feel lighter and peaceful.

6. Try doing this meditation regularly and you should feel less stressed overall.

You can receive a free meditation guide by visiting my website: https://www.marilyndecalo.com/meditation-guide

Feeling Our Feelings To Create Change

Feeling Our Feelings To Create Change

EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE

 

Have you noticed how much time you spend trying to control the way you feel? When negative emotions arise you might seek validation for feeling as you do by blaming another person or an outside condition.  Perhaps you see your feelings as an indication that you are a failure and condemn yourself. Or, something may have happened in your experience that you have no control over and it seems like there is nothing you can do to feel better.  In each of these scenarios in the effort to control your feelings you are practicing resisting feeling your feelings. As a result, pretty soon this feeling of struggle turns into a repetitive pattern and you find yourself in a disheartening emotional state more often throughout your day.  You may not have control over other people, outside conditions, or world politics, but you do have the ability to stop beating up on yourself for having uncomfortable emotions, and the reason you might want to do so is that they have the potential to show you what you want to live more satisfied and fulfilled. If you do not try so hard to get rid of what you deem as unwanted emotions, and instead go with the flow and make peace with where you are, you will allow a shift in the underlying energy that the emotions represent.  The emotion you feel in any moment of time is vital to the evolution of your path to joy – it is a temporary indication of what you have going on in the present. It is not an indictment of who you are; it doesn’t mean you are in the wrong place. Emotions are a manifestation of what you’ve got going on. Think of it as a gas gauge that indicates you are out of gas so you can go do something about it.

 

Make Peace Emotions

 

Emotions that we deem as “bad” are showing us where we are holding resistance to making the changes we want in our experience.  Like peeling the layers of the onion, our so-called negative emotions or feelings of struggle show us where we are introducing tension into the equation and what needs to be released to come into balance with a state of well-being.  When negative emotions are triggered by conditions or circumstances, transitions or life-events, we can be sure that our core beliefs influenced that emotional reaction based on a limiting perspective of ourselves. We work against ourselves when we try to push those feelings away because we are not allowing the emotion to show us the core belief in the way of moving into a more satisfying feeling.  Of course, we want to feel better, but the path to feeling better becomes further and further away as we get ourselves into a stuck place due to more and more resistance. Denying, hiding, suppressing or trying to do things in an effort to get rid of feelings does not make them go away, and does not change the feeling.

As we make peace with our feelings and surrender pushing against them in our tendency not to feel them when they arise, we loosen the “charge” or intensity of the emotion.  In this process of allowing ourselves to accept what we are feeling we find self- compassion. We free up the emotional hold of the negative emotions when we let go of whatever judgement we have made about having the unsatisfactory feelings.  In the process of releasing resistance to feeling our feelings we alleviate the futile cycle of attempting to defeat the negative emotional grip, all the while keeping it active in our psyche with our attention to the uncomfortable feelings. What follows from feeling our feelings and not trying to change them or make them go away is a natural opening up of our awareness to what is underlying these negative emotions – beliefs that can be shifted to more loving, supportive and positive thoughts; and as they are the emotions release. In the thoughts that come to us next, the emotions are soothed and begin to subside.

 

The Path Forward

 

Changing how you feel within is the sure path to the freedom, happiness and joy you truly desire. To allow that change to happen release all the reasons why you think feeling your fear, sadness, hurt or abandonment is beyond your ability.  Appreciate the truth that you are a human being who feels and acknowledge the spectrum of your feelings – whatever you are feeling in the moment. Even the thoughts and feelings that make you think you must be doing something wrong or else you would not be living it.  Out of acknowledgement of your feelings – without self-judgement or self-criticism – a resolution comes through. Because out of that experience of feeling contrast is born the clarity of desire. A problem actually has the potential of producing an answer that puts you in a better place, closer to your desire for joy.

In order to stay in harmony with who you really are, you must go with the flow of your desire for creating your happiness. Harmony is really a matter of giving up practiced resistance to feelings. Feeling your feelings, acknowledging their importance to your path forward, strengthens the relationship between who you really are on the inside and what you want to flow into your experience.  You do not need to run away from unpleasing feelings in order to invite well-being into your life. Relax and stop railing against or condemning your problem. Instead of getting up tomorrow morning and reactivating self-blame, appreciate the resolution that is coming into being as you adjust to a more peaceful, loving acceptance of your emotions.

If you are afraid of feeling your feelings or worried that you will never not feel bad if you acknowledge emotional discomfort, contact me to discuss how my emotional coaching program, The Surrender Solution, might help you release resistance and get back into the flow of emotional well being.

Evolving Into The Divine Self- Part 2

Evolving Into The Divine Self- Part 2

WHAT TO EXPECT

 

One of the major benefits of connecting to the Divine Self is the empowerment that comes from opening to and receiving the assistance of the universe. It becomes easier to adjust to the dance of opposing forces experienced everywhere, whether it’s between the light and darkness, love and fear, abundance and loss, or in relationships. An integrated Divine Self does not mean that you are without fear, discord or suffering, but it does mean that you have greater awareness when painful thoughts and feelings arise, and you can consciously balance your emotions quickly. You effectively neutralize the negative momentum with a choice to focus on the good feelings about what you truly desire in your heart, and allow that connection with inner well-being to dominate. This brings peace, satisfaction and joy, as you shift to a new, expanded level of seeing yourself in alignment with the flow of universal connectedness. Once you are aware of your connection and ability to shift into better feeling thoughts about a situation it becomes easier to slow negative momentum and choose a new perspective.

 

What can you do with your ability to be more open to your spiritual self?

 

The power of connection with your divine presence is allows you to release that which no longer serves you. Everything you have experienced on your path to this present moment has given you information about your Divine Self including any pain and suffering you have endured.  How can you know and experience love if you have not experienced lack or loss of love? Everything has a purpose. But it is now time to confront the old beliefs and limitations that have held you back on the collective and individual level. If you are experiencing turbulent times know that it is a sign to leave behind the ideas and perspectives that no longer serve your path.  Apply the principles of Divine Love to yourself, first. Understand that you are worthy of joy and freedom. And change the way you see your life experience. Clinging to old patterns will lead to prolonging the suffering for all; we have a responsibility to support, uplift and help with integrating the Divine aspects of higher consciousness into society and promoting values of compassion and love for all.

 

The Long-term Benefits

 

There is a special joy that comes from knowing oneself as a powerful creator, truly living on the right path. You know when to act and when to wait for the inspiration to act.  You stop listening to the dictates and opinions of others about your happiness. You wake up eager to engage with the bountiful energy of the day and you gravitate toward those things that are enjoyable and represent happiness in your day.   Those around you are inspired too. You find more and more ways to share the joy of life in relationships and to see the love you are in others. It is a transformative way of living that benefits not just you but those around you.

 

Methods To Make Inner Connection

 

With regard to methods, my approach is to tailor the method to each individual. Some of us come from cultural or religious backgrounds and beliefs that have influenced our perspectives so it’s important to understand context and the journey each individual has been on, first. Over time your experiences define who you are, and soul connection and integration is a personal expression. There really is no one in this world who is alike and that uniqueness is central to what drives each of us to move forward, to learn and to grow on our path.  As the Buddha says, we start where we are.

That being said, no matter what our background, often times we stand at the door of our opportunity to connect with the divine self when we ask one of the most important life questions, “What is my purpose?” It is common for feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction to result from experiences of being stuck on a senseless or meaningless path, attempting to live an outdated belief system that doesn’t serve us any longer, or some deep sense of loss or abandonment.  Without knowing our purpose, we remain unfulfilled. It is essential to our happiness and living a life with meaning to know which path that is calling to our soul.

My approach is a combination of ancient philosophies such as energy work or Reiki and transpersonal practices like guided meditation, journaling, and emotional release work.  I serve as a bridge to bring the individual from a limited understanding of who they think they are to a greater awareness of their sacred uniqueness as their integrated, human-divine self.   I teach people how to recognize and practice their energetic connection with their higher self through breath work, meditation, coaching and hypnotherapy. And the end result is always the same – freedom, a sense of appreciation for who they are and feeling empowered to follow their true path.

I offer tools and resources on my website for getting on the right path for anyone who is questioning their place in the world. In private sessions I incorporate my knowledge of world mythology, mysticism, the Law of Attraction, A Course In Miracles, Transcendental Meditation, and Deep Transformative Counseling to guide my clients to consciously discover and explore what ignites their fire and fuels their passion through their own unique gifts. With any of these modalities, the individual unveils the pragmatic wisdom that dwells within them, and with practice will begin to notice positive solutions, inspirations and ideas arise in their awareness to help them move through life challenges.

I also developed a self-paced, online course to help people achieve a greater awareness of their inner Self, called Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be. It’s done in a series of 11 modules and more suited to those who like a more autonomous style of learning. It can be found on my website, marilyndecalo.com under The Firebird Institute.

Marilyn Decalo Logo, Phoenix

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