What Else Is Possible?

What Else Is Possible?

STUCK IN THE SAME OLD STORY

 

Have you ever noticed the way events, relationships or outcomes to circumstances repeat in similar ways in your life? What if things appear the same way because you tend to look at your life and who you are from the same point of view year after year? For example, I have had jobs that offered me an income yet I never believed they were going to make me rich. In fact, I often felt underpaid. My point of view was based upon a belief I held that the kind of job that I was qualified for, or that I could get (ergo, that I deserve) would never make me rich. Interesting point of view! Rather than step beyond the limited belief I held about myself and jobs in general, I accepted my supposed fate begrudgingly. Why would I choose that? Why would anyone choose that perspective of themselves and their life? Aren’t we creative, powerful human beings with the ability to achieve our dreams? Or is that just for some other folks and not for me?

 

Emphasizing the Problems

 

It was life-changing to realize that I viewed myself as a victim rather a creator. I had seen myself as a limited being, defined by my education, up-bringing, religion, gender and a host of other external conditions. Unconsciously, I had bought the story that there are certain situations in life that are insurmountable which made me feel less than who I truly am. But when I started to question my reasons for denying my greatness, my human right to joy and fulfillment I realized I had to stop choosing problems, which was happening even while I thought I was seeking answers. The significance that I had given to relationship issues, body image, lack of money and career stagnation was all based on what wasn’t working for me and looking for answers to what I thought was lacking in me or my life was keeping me focused and stuck in the problems. This may sound counter-intuitive, like you can’t find an answer if you don’t examine the problem; but I have come to realize that there is more possibility for joyful outcomes through questioning what else is possible, what might be more true for me beyond the reality of the problem, and then opening to allow my inner self to guide me in the moment. There is a magic to living when I honor my innate goodness and connection with my divinity. I trust that my path will unfold easily, authentically and in balance free from the conditioned emotions of past experiences. That I am given what I need when I ask. This means that while I may listen to the viewpoint or perspective of another, I can give up comparing myself to others, ask myself what I want and choose just for me. When I ask what else is possible it is up to me to be aware of how I am feeling, surrender control and allow my inner guidance to give me the answers that will create the change I desire. This awareness, this sense of appreciation for my ability to consciously guide myself with compassion in alignment with inner knowing honors the true genius and unique being I truly am.

 

Are you enjoying the possibilities for your life?

 

Consider what comes up for you when you are in judgment of yourself. Is there something that you don’t like about yourself? If you are down on yourself then reaching for a solution from that feeling of dissatisfaction only perpetuates the fact that you are uncomfortable with who you are or what you are doing. The good news is that recognizing when you are judging yourself is an opportunity to ask some questions about what else is possible that will shift you into satisfaction. Start with appreciation for the many ways you are supporting yourself and the unique abilities that make you, you. Notice any thoughts that arise that tell you, you aren’t capable and remember they are just an interesting point of view, not set in stone. Ask yourself, what would open up for me is I started enjoying myself? What could I create in my life if I see myself and my life as an endless gift? You will discover yourself to be a greater person than you had realized.

 

Are you ready to start transforming your emotions and thoughts? Private coaching sessions are available.

Turn Your Setback Into A Comeback

Turn Your Setback Into A Comeback

Turn Your Setback Into A Comeback

 

When life’s challenges get you down it’s easy to lose hope in everything, including your beliefs. Not only does the future seem bleak, but it can be hard to face present realities and take care of daily relationships or responsibilities. Life’s low points can feel like something awful has sucked the wind out of you, leaving you uncomfortable and doubting what you have believed about yourself and the nature of life itself. You may intellectually know that life has ups and downs yet still find yourself trapped in negative emotions and fear-based thinking. Those worry thoughts cloud your days and pretty soon a serious funk sets in. You are experiencing a setback.

 

Faith is Key to Your Comeback

 

The nature of many setbacks is that you tend to get more discomfort, further challenges in different forms before things get better. This is because you are focusing on the hardship you are experiencing. Your attention, thoughts and emotions are steeped in reverberations of present circumstances and positive momentum forward wanes. If you have lost your job, a loved one or a significant relationship, and consequently doubt your ability to find joy again in life, redefining your core beliefs and realigning with faith in yourself along with faith in a friendly universe are key steps in creating your comeback. This may be too difficult to accept in the moment but it is  important for getting securely on the comeback trail.

You have the ability to realign your thinking about who you are as you increase your awareness of your own inner brilliance. Think about a time in your life when you felt that you were expressing your true self and you felt “in the zone.” Perhaps it was in a conversation, the development and execution of a project, a career move or fulfilling a dream. That feeling of being in a flow where thoughts, words and action line up to deliver a powerful sense of satisfaction with yourself – maybe there are goosebumps – is your brilliance shining through. If you stop and take a deep breath right now, and connect in with that sense of openness and awareness of your inner brilliance you can step into alignment with your essence. It isn’t about faking it, it’s an honest feeling of appreciation for the goodness, insight and gifts that come to life through you – your thinking, feeling, words and actions. Practicing this state of being in awareness brings more consistent knowing and faith in yourself, and allows you to have faith in well-being again.

 

Use Your Setback to Plot the Course of Your Comeback

 

I believe we live in a friendly universe that wants for me what I want. By birthright, we are each worthy of love, abundance, joy, health and freedom. Rather than turning away from challenging thoughts and feelings during a setback ask yourself what information, learning or growth they might offer. When we are aware of how we are perceiving ourselves or others in the midst of a challenge we have important information about outdated or limiting beliefs we might be holding onto, where we are neglecting ourselves and giving our power away, or simply how we might have more compassion and self-acceptance as we walk through our challenges and rebuild. Your comeback is an opportunity to move forward on solid ground with faith restored in yourself. When you have faith in yourself you open the door for the momentum to build. Soon you will find that confidence, trust and hope arise to propel you a new direction.

If you are experiencing emotional repercussions from loss in relationships, career or a major life transition, and would like support hitting the reset button, please reach out to me to discuss transpersonal counseling: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

If you are experiencing emotional repercussions from loss in relationships, career or a major life transition, and would like support hitting the reset button, please reach out to me to discuss transpersonal counseling: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

Reset Life With The Energy Of Joy

Reset Life With The Energy Of Joy

SEEKING JOY

 

 

 

I have sought more joy in my life for a very long time. Since adulthood I have inherently known that joy is fundamental to a meaningful, fulfilled life. However, it was not until I realized I had grown to identify with, and even desire things that kept me from feeling truly joyful that I discovered joy is always an inside job.

 

Why would I do that? Why did I lose touch with my true inner joy to begin with? To get to the root of all of that would be quite a saga. I could go through a long list of values ascribed to conditions and systems I believed were not only real but vital to my survival. I could go back to childhood and dig through family beliefs about money or love. I might even try to understand when and under what influence I felt I had to prove the value of my existence. In any event suffice it to say that I learned to turn my power over to outside conditions; giving the appearance of things, circumstances and events the ability to make or break me according to their standards. My security, success and self-worth depended on achievements determined as valid by the chorus of critics I deemed as official in the outside world.

 

Here are the questions I asked that helped me realize I had not consciously listened to the call of my true joy up to that point: What is the music that my soul wants to sing through me? What is the wisdom that I have been carrying around that wants to express in my life’s purpose? What am I passionate about at my core that is uniquely me?

 

Once I asked those questions everything that was in the way of knowing the answers showed up for me to step beyond. I had to get real with the fact that coming into joyful, satisfied living meant that I acknowledge I am more than what I had chosen to be up to that point. I had to understand that I had been reacting to beliefs that I could be stymied; that others held the power over me, even when I thought I was coming up with solutions to problems. My focus was still on the problems. Kind of like being in a room and looking for a way out but being trapped by a belief that those four walls have to contain a doorway. Maybe the answer is jumping over the walls.

 

I held some pretty rigid beliefs about what joy should look like from others’ perspectives and my ego often pointed out when I was not meeting expectations around happiness. I began to notice as those limiting ideas about what joy should be surfaced by paying attention to my emotions of disappointment and self-judgment. You see, I was defining joy based mostly upon my emotional reaction to conditions I thought were not working out in my life, rather than what I truly felt joyful about coming from my individual heart and soul. I had gotten into the habit of pushing against what I did not want instead of feeling empowered to determine and create what I wanted. Believing in the power of my own unique dreams and desires, believing in my worthiness and deservedness was the path to recognizing the power within.

 

As I practiced meditation during which I allowed calm and peace to flow through my body I discovered the experience of a new reality, of living in conscious connection with the pure inner essence of who I am more and more. My priority became tuning into an energy of inner clarity and wisdom; of making peace with myself and my life in the present moment and knowing that when I focus on my inner goodness all is well for me. I began to see myself and my life through the eyes of love rather than fear. I stopped labeling feelings as negative and listened to what they were telling me about my beliefs. I accepted that I am a multi-faceted person with a unique, creative perspective. From this place of contentment I became motivated to embark on a path of living in conscious connection with the true source of my joy – my soul self. My path to joy has been winding but ultimately it is leading me to become more fully who I am as a wholly loved and loving, divine human being.

 

 

 

What if I have the power to create what is joyfully calling to me from within?

 

 

 

The answers that came through my questioning experience changed my perspective because I was able to recognize when I was feeling disempowered. The shift came when I chose to own my power to create what felt joyful to me. Letting conditions control my emotional reactions kept me feeling like a victim. How had I lost that sense of living through my personal power? I recalled what it felt like to be a child playing in the park, rolling in the grass, looking up at the sky, the birds chirping in the background. That child-like freedom to express, to feel, to enjoy and to explore in the moment was enlivening. When had I stopped being a conduit for the expression of that joy?

 

I have learned that we really never stop questioning, discovering and experiencing who we are in new ways. It is an eternal process. But I did want to understand how to be happy more of the time, and to live from a place of freedom and self-love rather than judgement and fear. So the next step was to understand how to be consistent with the process of creating from joy. I mentioned that once I started asking how to live with more joy many limiting beliefs that stood in the way of confidently hearing and following the call to joy came up for me to recognize. Part of my process has been to take time each morning to listen to my inner self-talk. Am I satisfied with what I tell myself or is it uncomfortable?

 

As I first practiced feeling my feelings around not being worthy or good enough I easily slipped back into feelings of failure, shame and guilt. There were times when I just couldn’t stop the merry-go-round of pain and I was easily flung off into the worst-case scenario of whatever issue I was confronting. I have to say one thing about myself here – I am one of the most determined people I know about this subject of evolving into what I call, higher consciousness. I have been on a journey of discovering how to communicate with the divine within me since I first tried a ouiji board as a teenager. The journey has been mired with false expectations followed by revelations, followed by painful beliefs, anxiety, feeling dejected and essentially all of the crap I threw in the way of loving myself through life. As I look at this journey to date I recognize that these have all been growth opportunities that have led me to present perceptions. I never gave up on my intention to be more, to know more to change and to grow. The idea of experiencing the fullness of unconditional love – how beautiful and wonderful that experience must be – has

 

called me forward through examination and experiences in religious organizations, a variety of education approaches, traumatic incidents, international travels, family relationships and dynamics, spiritual teachers and professional careers. In many cases I would get swallowed up by negative feelings that resulted from any less than comfortable experiences. While I was very good at hiding those feelings, they remained underneath my world-view and colored the way I approached life – it became harder and more difficult to be happy.

 

The upside of looking at life through lenses clouded by fear and a need to control conditions is that I have learned to come to myself mindfully and compassionately. I can recognize when I have fallen into an old energy pattern and see its undermining pull into panic or anxiety. Herein lies the ongoing work of self-awareness. This process is actually something that I have consciously integrated into my life in order to manage my intentions and attention to joy. It is also the source of my power to create my life through joy.

 

 

 

Self-Acceptance is Key

 

 

 

What is that we need to understand in order to change our self-perception from weak, powerless and fearful to strong, creative and free? Not only to think of ourselves differently but to actually shift into a consciousness that is open to a new way of living. Cultivating the courage to be willing to step into a perception of the self beyond uncomfortable beliefs and limitations and hit “reset” is one thing.  Courage also allows us to trust in a process of growth, integration and acceptance of who we are wholly -body, mind and spirit.  Being aware of our emotions also supports willing self-discovery. Sometimes we refer to this process as “finding our purpose”.

 

But how can we find our purpose if we do not accept that our unique personal dreams and desires are integral to our creative message, our unique gifts; and that our inner essence is a powerful energy always available to tap into to express that beautiful, unique spark? Loving ourselves for who we are, unconditionally, demonstrates the self-acceptance and belief that allows the cooperative energies of the universe to join us, to work through us to bring our personal joy to life. That means being responsible for how we feel, what we think and why we want what we want in a loving way – whatever feels right and good to you and you alone. This may sound selfish to some, but if we cannot love ourselves, how can we accept or love another? If we do not love ourselves will others love us? The adage about hiding your light under a bushel is this very idea. We each have a light, a spark, a radiant glow within that guides us to that which is joyful. I am on an intentional quest to follow that spark, to breathe into it and allow it to grow, and see life through the eyes of the amazing creator of joy that I am. I have lived the opposite of that and it has not served to lift me up, or those around me. It is time to surrender the reasons why I cannot be joyful, and consciously embrace the never-ending magic of a fully free and joyful life.

 

If you would like to understand how to connect with your unique, inner spark of joy and reset your path forward through love, harmony and peace, rather than struggle, reach out to me for a consultation. marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

 

Rebuilding After Divorce

Rebuilding After Divorce

Amy Satori is an intuitive spiritual counselor and healer. A warm and loving light-bearer who offers her clients keen insights along their paths of self-transformation. Amy and I met at the Lighthouse Bookstore in Boulder where she is a psychic reader. In our conversation during my reading we discovered a mutual interest in supporting those going through periods of uncertainty and loss during divorce and relationship break-up. The Amy Satori podcast show turned out to be a perfect vehicle for us to discuss how to be empowered along the journey of new beginnings through divorce. We offer practical advice, resources, and self-care ideas that speak to the process of rebuilding during this major life transition.

You can listen to this podcast below.

To hear more of Amy’s Podcasts you can visit her Podcast page here.

Opening to Fully Express My Divine Self

Opening to Fully Express My Divine Self

LIFE MASTERY IS SELF MASTERY

 

Awakening to and embracing the Divine Self is a path of self-discovery and transformation. As we evolve our understanding of who we are beyond limitations conceived of by the outside world we undergo a shift in conscious awareness.  We learn to surrender the excuses and barriers to the truth we have hidden in our hearts and allow inner wisdom to guide us toward knowing and creatively expressing our unique gifts. We come to believe and live in the majesty of our inner essence as divine beings, knowing we are loved beyond measure.; deserving of all good and well-being.  This expanded, new awareness of who we truly are grows stronger as we continue to connect with it in our daily experiences. We connect more consistently with the energy of joy and love at our core, align our physical and etheric energetic fields with the pure positive light of the divine self and become fortified with our own creative power. The naysayers and chaotic voices of the world that tell us we are less than magnificent beings become fewer and softer. We find our balance and footing to think, feel and act empowered by love in the midst of all circumstances. And when we feel the tug of old conflicts, tension and fear rising within we are more easily able to recognize that an energy or thought pattern may still exist that does not serve us any longer. Rather than labeling those feelings as bad or negative, we accept that this is an energy pattern that has surfaced once again and now we can let it go; surrender the old belief that is holding it in place. Simply breathing in deeply, noticing, feeling and letting go. When we practice awareness and acceptance of innate divine love we retain access to that space of inner calm and compassion for ourselves – the Divine Self perspective – while simply allowing the old energy to dissolve. It sounds like a blissful path, right? I believe it truly can be.

 

Uncloaking Expression of The Divine Self

 

We can choose to be on a path to consciously, fully know and express the Divine Self. I have learned that when we make the choice to be on the path, divine authentic love is always present and never varies. It is divine love that inspires me from within to stay on the path. Nonetheless it is a winding path; at times I am on it and then I might step off when I face challenges or undergo unexpected life changes. At those times I realize that confusion inevitably sets in, so I have learned to return to the path of the Divine Self where clarity and unconditional love serves me and helps me find forgiveness, surrender and peace.

When I am questioning my purpose, wondering if I am worthy of fulfilling my dreams or facing doubt about my next step, I ask for assistance from my Divine Self and the answer is always given from love. I have come to allow that love to uplift me and carry me to new realms of possibility in my imagination, thoughts and feelings. It is an experience beyond words, beyond willpower, and without effort. A glorious synchronization with the powerful energy of love that is who we are as the fully embodied Divine Self.

 

Question For You:

How do you express your Divine Self?

 

Each of us is a unique expression of love, a spark of divinity and the majesty of life. Through our desires and dreams, our imagination and thoughts we create what our inner essence wishes to express in the world. We are scientists, dancers, visionaries, innovators, authors or a variety of other expressions of our gifts. When we walk our path in alignment with the energy of Divine Self we authentically express divine love in our work, our home, and our community. It feels like joy, truth and knowing what we want is ours without a doubt; that we can create what brings us happiness, uplifting us and others as we engage in life each day. Think about a desire, a celebration, a project, a child, an event in the tapestry of your life that brings you complete and glorious joy. This is an expression of the connection with your Divine Self. You can consciously identify and create more of these experiences simply by feeling the essential divine love at the core of the energy surrounding you in those moments. Amp it up, let it flow! You are on your path to consciously expressing your Divine Self.

Be sure to check out my previous blog posts “Evolving Into The Divine Self” Part One and Part Two. 

Vulnerable : What Does It Mean To Be Vulnerable?

Vulnerable : What Does It Mean To Be Vulnerable?

What Is Vulnerability?

 

Lately I have been thinking about how I experience vulnerability. Due to my recent desire to understand and embrace the full range of my emotional response to what has felt like overwhelm with life challenges, I have found myself on new ground,  Rather than deny any uncomfortable feelings I am opening up to welcome and explore new dimensions of myself, including vulnerability.The experience has spurred conversations with like-minded spiritual seekers about what it means to allow myself to feel vulnerable. In the past when the subject of vulnerability has come up I usually avoided it. This time the conversation focused on opportunities for growth yielded from feeling one’s vulnerability. At first, I found myself sidestepping the conversation, and then I stopped to ask why. I asked myself and my friends directly, “What might vulnerability offer that I am afraid to experience?” The responses I received from my inner self, enhanced by comments from friends were insightful, profound and changed my view of what true vulnerability means.

 

Is Feeling Vulnerable a Negative?

 

Many of us believe that feeling vulnerable is a negative – a state of feeling helpless or indefensible to others who might be able to take advantage of our weakened position emotionally, physically or mentally. This is an old paradigm, so to speak, of vulnerability – feeling weak like a victim. It comes from beliefs – mine or others – that I am unsafe, insecure or unstable. While certain situations in our childhood or past might fuel these beliefs and contribute to our present understanding of vulnerability, shifting our thinking about vulnerability offers many positive rewards along our paths to living an authentic, joyful life.

I realize now that it is possible to transform beliefs about what it means to be vulnerable, and a more positive mindset allows us to accept and feel vulnerability without fear.  The old paradigm is based upon an egotistical perspective that wants to protect and shield us from detrimental situations or experience, which is all right and good, but the basis of that paradigm is the belief that we need protecting, that someone can hurt us. The truth is that once we recognize our power over our emotions and thoughts we can set our boundaries and no one can truly hurt us unless we give our permission.

 

True Vulnerability

True vulnerability opens the heart to be all that we are, to accept and cherish the human blended with the divine experience of life on earth, to find the compassion and caring that creates change in our perspectives of one another and the evolution of us an individuals and societies. This may seem to contradict the tenets of the MeToo movement or instances where domestic violence, police brutality, racism or child abuse are prevalent. But when we stop seeing ourselves through the eyes of beliefs steeped in a fear-based world and realize that we are the embodied power of love, able to create a love-filled world, then that belief becomes our rock, our inner strength, our north star, our core essence – always available to fuel our creative expression in the world. We now see ourselves and experience life much differently; indeed, our reality shifts. We feel compassionate, caring; and as we come to understand suffering or struggle as a common human experience we consciously uplift ourselves making a difference in how we shape our lives.

Being vulnerable today means that I am ready to go to my next level of awareness and insight – spiritually, emotionally and mentally – unconditionally. I am ready to tune into my intuition, trust in my intentions for creating a life of well-being and love with no judgements. When I am vulnerable now I am open to new revelations about myself, not stuck in the past or limiting myself with excuses why I cannot enjoy what I desire. I open my heart, like a book, and let others read it, unafraid of how I might be perceived because I am comfortable with my story. This is the real me, ready to accept and connect with who I am on a pure, authentic, positive level.

 

Other Ways Of Experiencing Vulnerability

There are other ways to experience vulnerability like looking up at a starry sky and feeling awe over our celestial and earthly magnificence. The strong emotion of awe is profound and magical; it allows us to be vulnerable, to be filled with the emotional energy of essential goodness which permeates and at the same time transcends daily life.

It takes a bit of courage to let down the guard, reveal the truth that vulnerability frees, live authentically and allow the world to know us as we know ourselves. Freedom is the gift of vulnerability – willing to be in that open space of feeling and receiving the goodness we truly are and deserve, confident in our connection with the energy of divine love.

I am curious about what vulnerability means to you. Please share your thoughts and feelings in the comments.

 

Enrollment is now open in my online course “Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be”. This self-paced course will be taking you on a deep dive within in order to understand who you are meant to be and make the shifts in your awareness and thinking to get the results you want to live life passionately, joyfully, and satisfied.

Marilyn Decalo Logo, Phoenix

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