Abundant Living

Abundant Living

UNFOLDING JOY

 

Several of the most challenging experiences along my life journey have offered me opportunities to examine my belief in self-worthiness. I have not always seen things that way, but an inner awareness that life is meant to be enjoyed has led me to ask questions when outward appearances contradict the assertion that well-being abounds for all. Because of my inner quest and desire to understand what it is that prevents me from experiencing deep satisfaction more fully in life, I consciously travel the road to abundant living.  I read the signposts, explore the bumps, remove roadblocks, navigate  curves and even cruise the wide-open straights. Shifting into a consciousness of abundant living comes about first by intention.  Intention to know ourselves more fully beyond current limitations and beliefs that we are not worthy of all we desire.  We all have access to this natural state when we open to inner connection, soften and appreciate the goodness within, and let go of doubt.  The path of abundant living has been an important avenue for knowing and growing myself as a divine-human being.

 

Surrendering Resistance

 

As I have sorted and sifted through thoughts, beliefs and limitations in my search for inner truth and authenticity one of the most valuable lessons I have learned is to have compassion and kindness for myself. Each time I encounter inner resistance to seeing myself or a situation through the eyes of divine love I surrender to my humanity, my human emotion, and give myself permission to listen to what my heart is telling me. I feel my feelings and allow the wisdom of emotion to show me what I might be holding onto or need to control; and then I ask myself, “Is this serving me?” Without getting too much in the weeds with painful emotion – spiraling out of control or into anxiety – I surrender. I release any doubt I hold about deserving to live through joy as I soothe and comfort myself into balance.

 

Seeing With The Heart

 

We all have a great capacity for healing, evolving and expanding to experience greater joy and abundant living. So much of what we experience in relationship, family or our careers is viewed through the lens of fear, pain and helplessness that we become blind to the divine-human premise that we are worthy of the joy we seek. This happens because we base our thinking on what others do, say or believe about what is good for us in life. When we attempt to live up to a standard of success that society deems best, accomplishing it can feel like striving and struggle. It is then easy to become self-defeated when we encounter hardship  because we see ourselves as failures. Usually we will then push to overcome the bad feelings and start down a path of self-hate, shame or guilt. This happens because our energy in this situation is not flowing from the truth of inner joy. Approaching life from a natural state of peace and balance can be found within when we open and see ourselves, others and life with our hearts. This means allowing time and space for breathing into what it is that makes us unique, recognizing the creative spark of each of us as divine and loving and knowing without doubt that we deserve to express that in co-creative ease and grace. Abundant living stems from the illumination of abundance in our lives. Illumination of abundance means seeing ourselves as abundant, worthy of abundance and understanding our power to choose a consciousness of abundant living. By preference we can experience inner connection with divine love, see its’ reflection in our daily lives – through people, nature, animals, music and common activities – and appreciate an abundant feeling of well-being.

 

3 Ways to Live Abundantly

1. Use the present moment to activate feelings of abundance.

Notice right now what you are thinking about yourself, your life or your situation. Are you feeling hopeless? If so, shift out of thinking about whatever your problems may be and allow yourself to picture abundance flowing into your life, right now. Make this a practice and actively shift your thinking to ideas and dreams of abundance whenever you start down a road of negative feelings. Pretty soon you will be eager and look forward to the better feeling thoughts of abundance.

2. Affirm you are the abundance that you seek.

As a divine-human, your essential-self offers you a steady stream of love in expression of your creativity, kindness, compassion, beauty and abundance. Watch your beliefs about self-worth and resistance to ideas about living abundantly. Use affirmations like, I attract abundance into my life because that is what I am.

3. Set intentions to receive and flow abundance in specific forms and detail.

Your supply is unlimited in the universal flow of abundance. Think about and act as if you are living your abundant life. Start where you are and set intentions for more abundance. Use your imagination and creative abilities to live abundantly as a “must”, not a wish. The more you enjoy out-picturing all that you desire and dream of, and partake in the generosity in your life today, the more you activate the energy of attraction to fulfill your intentions.

 

 

 

When things fall apart and you are living with uncertainty, it helps to get emotional support. I want to help you not only recover your footing but confidently create a new path to happiness. Adversity can be an opportunity to get on track to truly fulfilled living and I can teach you how. Reach out to me to learn more: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

Vulnerable : What Does It Mean To Be Vulnerable?

Vulnerable : What Does It Mean To Be Vulnerable?

What Is Vulnerability?

 

Lately I have been thinking about how I experience vulnerability. Due to my recent desire to understand and embrace the full range of my emotional response to what has felt like overwhelm with life challenges, I have found myself on new ground,  Rather than deny any uncomfortable feelings I am opening up to welcome and explore new dimensions of myself, including vulnerability.The experience has spurred conversations with like-minded spiritual seekers about what it means to allow myself to feel vulnerable. In the past when the subject of vulnerability has come up I usually avoided it. This time the conversation focused on opportunities for growth yielded from feeling one’s vulnerability. At first, I found myself sidestepping the conversation, and then I stopped to ask why. I asked myself and my friends directly, “What might vulnerability offer that I am afraid to experience?” The responses I received from my inner self, enhanced by comments from friends were insightful, profound and changed my view of what true vulnerability means.

 

Is Feeling Vulnerable a Negative?

 

Many of us believe that feeling vulnerable is a negative – a state of feeling helpless or indefensible to others who might be able to take advantage of our weakened position emotionally, physically or mentally. This is an old paradigm, so to speak, of vulnerability – feeling weak like a victim. It comes from beliefs – mine or others – that I am unsafe, insecure or unstable. While certain situations in our childhood or past might fuel these beliefs and contribute to our present understanding of vulnerability, shifting our thinking about vulnerability offers many positive rewards along our paths to living an authentic, joyful life.

I realize now that it is possible to transform beliefs about what it means to be vulnerable, and a more positive mindset allows us to accept and feel vulnerability without fear.  The old paradigm is based upon an egotistical perspective that wants to protect and shield us from detrimental situations or experience, which is all right and good, but the basis of that paradigm is the belief that we need protecting, that someone can hurt us. The truth is that once we recognize our power over our emotions and thoughts we can set our boundaries and no one can truly hurt us unless we give our permission.

 

True Vulnerability

True vulnerability opens the heart to be all that we are, to accept and cherish the human blended with the divine experience of life on earth, to find the compassion and caring that creates change in our perspectives of one another and the evolution of us an individuals and societies. This may seem to contradict the tenets of the MeToo movement or instances where domestic violence, police brutality, racism or child abuse are prevalent. But when we stop seeing ourselves through the eyes of beliefs steeped in a fear-based world and realize that we are the embodied power of love, able to create a love-filled world, then that belief becomes our rock, our inner strength, our north star, our core essence – always available to fuel our creative expression in the world. We now see ourselves and experience life much differently; indeed, our reality shifts. We feel compassionate, caring; and as we come to understand suffering or struggle as a common human experience we consciously uplift ourselves making a difference in how we shape our lives.

Being vulnerable today means that I am ready to go to my next level of awareness and insight – spiritually, emotionally and mentally – unconditionally. I am ready to tune into my intuition, trust in my intentions for creating a life of well-being and love with no judgements. When I am vulnerable now I am open to new revelations about myself, not stuck in the past or limiting myself with excuses why I cannot enjoy what I desire. I open my heart, like a book, and let others read it, unafraid of how I might be perceived because I am comfortable with my story. This is the real me, ready to accept and connect with who I am on a pure, authentic, positive level.

 

Other Ways Of Experiencing Vulnerability

There are other ways to experience vulnerability like looking up at a starry sky and feeling awe over our celestial and earthly magnificence. The strong emotion of awe is profound and magical; it allows us to be vulnerable, to be filled with the emotional energy of essential goodness which permeates and at the same time transcends daily life.

It takes a bit of courage to let down the guard, reveal the truth that vulnerability frees, live authentically and allow the world to know us as we know ourselves. Freedom is the gift of vulnerability – willing to be in that open space of feeling and receiving the goodness we truly are and deserve, confident in our connection with the energy of divine love.

I am curious about what vulnerability means to you. Please share your thoughts and feelings in the comments.

 

Enrollment is now open in my online course “Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be”. This self-paced course will be taking you on a deep dive within in order to understand who you are meant to be and make the shifts in your awareness and thinking to get the results you want to live life passionately, joyfully, and satisfied.

When Expectations Get In The Way of Happiness

When Expectations Get In The Way of Happiness

WHAT DETERMINES HAPPINESS?

 

One hundred people will probably have one hundred different, unique sets of expectations about what constitutes happiness. When it comes to happiness the objective of an expectation is to line up what you think with what you want to happen; or what you intend to create in your life with your activity, action or behavior.  Life experience teaches you to expect different consequences from positive and negative behavior, so it makes sense that when you focus on what you believe to be positive actions you expect positive outcomes along with the feeling of happiness that ensues. The all- important question to ask about your expectations for happiness is where are they coming from?  Do you call on others to show you the way to happiness by their achievements or by what they think is right for you? Are you trying to make others proud of you? Do you derive expectations of happiness based on a reaction to what might make you happy? Or, do your expectations of being happy come from within?

 

DELIBERATE HAPPINESS

 

What happens when your expectations are not met or when you have done everything you feel is right and the outcomes do not match your desires?  You put time, energy and focus into an expected happy outcome and got disappointment instead. The emotional weight of your dissatisfaction creates a huge imbalance in your life, and leaves you with a sense that you have let yourself (and perhaps others) down.  A good way to regain your emotional balance is to look within and find happiness with who you are and where you are; to open up space to examine your personal dreams and let your happiness deliberately start from connection your inner feeling of love and joy. It’s not that you shouldn’t try for that high-flying career or family, relationship or any of those things you dream about, but happiness need not revolve around doing or being what others or society thinks we should be doing.  When that unwelcome feeling of disappointment shows up it is prodding you to regain your balance, and to pay attention to the inner-side of the equation.  As a unique person you have the power and right to define what matches your inner happy.

 

FUEL EXPECTATIONS WITH EMOTION

 

Life is an ongoing journey of change, refresh, create and refine.  Contentment and happiness shift, twist, turn and show up in unexpected, delightful ways.  Spending your mental currency – your thinking energy on trying to figure out all the right moves can lead to burn out, disappointment and ill-health. For expectations to match desired outcomes thinking and emotions need to be aligned with what you want.   How do you shift your thinking to match your dreams for happiness? Focus on what you truly want. What are you passionate about? What is calling you to your greatest joy?  Relax more and get in touch with the dreams that bring smiles to your face, and give yourself permission to spend more time imagining you are enjoying those things in your life now. The power of your mind and heart joined in envisioning your happiness in this moment puts creative expression into motion.  When you start expressing the energy of happiness now you are not just going through the motions, you are riding the wave of aligned thinking and actually grows and attracts your dream into reality.

So what are your expectations for happiness?  In daily existence there are routines, habits, relationships and meeting the needs of yourself and others (family, work, etc.) Yet there are also the dreams and hopes for a deeply satisfying experience where you live in the greatness you imagine yourself to be – happy, fulfilled and in balance.   Being mindful of the things that are important to you and setting goals that are lined up with your authentic, heart-and-soul desires will help you to set targets to put e-motion toward things that really matter to you. That way you will retain a foundation of true purpose, passion and inspiration and keep your balance while engaging in the bigger picture of daily life.

 

HOW DO YOU EXPERIENCE HAPPINESS?

 

Raise your expectations for happiness by doing these simple things:

  • Surrender the opinions and expectations of others and spend more time listening to the dreams calling you from your heart.  Use reflection to connect with what moves you from inner joy.
  • Recognize that if you want to be happy, it can also come in small and everyday ways.  Appreciate that what you are experiencing in this day is an opportunity to feel happy.
  • Be open to receiving happiness in unexpected ways and through new experiences. Fi you are flexible, curious and expand your definition of happiness you may enhance your sense of potential and opportunity in life.
  • Be compassionate with yourself, accept your strengths and release the inner critic when it shows up.
  • Do what makes a difference and has purpose or meaning for you.  Fulfilling a noble purpose (practicing acts of kindness, volunteer work or participating in charitable projects) gives your life mean.
Support Yourself In Times Of Adversity

Support Yourself In Times Of Adversity

Times of Adversity – You’ve Got This!

Start Where You Are

We all encounter dark times at some point in life, and undoubtedly when you experience hardship there are external factors at play.  However, while you are aware that those factors have played a part in your current reality, it can be hard to accept that you can’t change any of them now. What you can do is accept and acknowledge the part that you played and take responsibility for creating the solution.

First, understand that these things happen to everyone.  A divorce, job loss, relationship break-up, financial crisis or health challenge are instances when we have the choice to dwell in the problem, experiencing a deep, dark, lengthy period of suffering, or we can accept where we are and focus on shifting to where we want to be.

Stay Positive

When life throws a curve ball and forces change upon us we can respond by falling further or confronting our difficulties. Resisting and lamenting the reality of your present moment situation delays the process of recovery.  To get things moving in the upward direction try feeling appreciation for the blessings in your life right now. You can start by noticing the basic goodness of being alive – sunshine, water, nature, food, air and any other general supportive elements in life.  Engage in self-reflection and find ways to nurture yourself with exercise, journaling, and enjoyable music. Whatever your challenge you have the resources within you to take the first step by making a decision, being willing to feel better. Embrace your wish to be happy and define what that means for you.

Get Help

You may prefer to seek out and accept help.  Investigate quality blogs or forums online; explore charities or support agencies; invest in a mentor or personal coach.  Investing in the support of a coach is one of the quickest ways to get results and one of the best value propositions. Someone who has been through the same challenges as you is likely to understand the best means of shifting your situation quickly.  The price tag may well pay the biggest return on your investment in the long run and bottom line, you are worth it.

Pay Attention To Your Emotions

Finding emotional balance is a priority for feeling better and being able to plan for the future. Even at your most desolate, seeking solace and support is a sign that you are not ready to give up on yourself. I have faced dark challenges and refused to believe that a light exists to lead me out. When I stopped blaming others for my circumstances and faced my painful emotions I was able to see that my life was calling me forward to heal, grow and live more authentically.  Life is full of changes and trying to resist the ebbs and flows of life is futile.

Not every step you take to support yourself on the road to recovery will be a game-changer but it will bring you closer to knowing what you want as you explore different answers and solutions to your challenges.  You possess the power to choose to take positive steps forward and align your thinking, feelings and energy to support yourself and that is a beautiful thing! Follow your inner-most desire to be your best self, to live a fulfilled life.  When you are forced to make a change, rest assured that you have what it takes to deal with it. In the unending balance and rebalancing of life things change for the better.

Self-Soothing in Times of Adversity

To move-on, here are some ways you can support yourself:

  • Seek out the positive people in your life and spend time doing uplifting activities.  Laugh, go to a upbeat show, cook a good meal together.
  • Try something new.  Maybe there’s an adventure you’ve been thinking about – a rafting trip or hiking expedition.
  • Take some down time for you – to be alone and commit to self-reflection, meditation or yoga to feed your soul.  Get a massage.
  • Wake up and plan a random act of kindness for someone at work or a neighbor. Giving without the intention of a return lifts the spirits and releases a sense of appreciation that floods the brain with serotonin.
  • Join a support group and find some like-minded people to share your experience with, and receive encouragement.
  • Do not compare yourself to anyone else.  You just try to be the best you can be, and that’s enough!

My new course “Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be” is now open for enrollment! Visit this link to learn more or get started.

Be the Captain of Your Heart

Be the Captain of Your Heart

Be the Captain of Your Heart and You Will Be the Captain of Your Life

What kind of life do you desire to live?  All human beings want to be happy and live a good life, but what does that truly mean to you deep down?  I had the pleasure of speaking with a master and commander recently who, full of enthusiasm and expectation for a joyful, gentle, abundant and love-filled life (his words), explained to me how he had become not only captain of his ship but captain of his life.

I was impressed by the captain’s conviction that life was his for the asking and enjoyment of it, and I was curious about how he had come to his wonderfully enthusiastic perspective.

The commander told me that it hadn’t always been that way.  He had made a conscious choice to have a gentle, happy, easy life after losing a difficult battle with the sea while captaining his boat and a crew.  Following his ordeal, the commander isolated himself on remote islands off the coast of Australia, carrying a painful burden of despair. After going through some months of feeling distraught, questioning the value of his life, he discovered the voice of his inner explorer beckoning, becoming louder each day even as he focused on his pain. It took him a while to listen, he said, but soon his inner calling was just too loud to ignore.  He realized he needed to make some decisions about not only what he wanted next but how he wanted to feel. Would he continue to wallow in hurt and or use his pain as an opportunity to make some positive changes? Just that bit of soul searching put him on a better feeling trajectory where hope could enter his heart.

Pretty soon he was telling himself things like, “nothing but the best,” and “ignore the beast, follow the feast” (his words, again). That remarkable shift in the core of his thinking and feeling allowed him to slowly, consciously pilot his life forward; and that was the key difference – he was consciously piloting his life now. I could sense the power and truth of what his inner shift had led him to know because as he spoke to me I could feel his expectation of happiness resonate in my heart.

Challenges Are Opportunities

The captain commanded his desires into fruition because first, he came to understand and command the power of his own conscious, emotional awareness. Creative energy or creative expression is set through the energy of emotions (e-motion) and we have choices in each moment about how we feel. The captain recognized his inner power to feel good by lining up his emotional (or feeling) nature with his desires.   He made the important decision to keep his focus on inner (heart) happiness and from there everything else flows.

Beginning with just a slight bit of inner hope – the inner call to renew his adventure of exploring – and then openly questioning his path forward, the commander had simply surrendered resistance and became willing to recreate himself and his life.  The universe responded by offering evidence of the power of his decision to become a deliberate creator – his life is filled with wonderful new adventures but more importantly, his heart is full of the love that attracts all those adventures. He is a conduit for his own joyful energy, the same joyful energy each and every one of us can experience.

How do you become the captain of your heart?

Becoming the captain of your heart is not about the manifestation of things.  We tend to put our energy and effort into what we want to acquire rather than on feeling good first.   Captains of the heart are pleased with what they think about and feel as they come into harmony with their true, innermost creativity and desires.  That starts with being okay with where you are in this moment, here and now.

The captain made a decision to feel good in his experience of life, in the present moment where he was standing. That decision summoned the energy of hope and inspired him to use his growing conscious awareness to conjure his life on his terms.

The value of emotionally soul-searching for why you want what you want until you feel it is yours in your heart is that in the process your energy for creating your desires grows stronger. That is the eternal secret the captain discovered. Now he watches the manifestations of his joyful heart move into and through his life daily with surprise and delight.

Seeing With The Heart

In my new book, Seeing With The Heart, I take the reader through a guided journey of exploring and growing a heart-felt connection with their true self. Opening the door to loving oneself, finding compassion for where you stand and connecting with authentic power is the process for stepping to the helm of your joyful life. I invite you to take the next step and become the captain of your heart.

True Passion

True Passion

There is a bit of a debate going on about overuse of the word ‘passion’ to describe doing what you love.  It seems that it doesn’t matter if you are talking about a career, a relationship or an exercise routine, passion has become synonymous with feeling like you are “all in” to whatever excites you most. In my own life I have felt enthusiastic about many things but I am not sure I would classify doing them as my passion. So that made me wonder, what is true passion?

Perhaps the controversy over ‘passion’ has more to do with attempts to define it simply as ‘living your dream’ rather than delving into the emotional aspects of passion – that inner excitement that isn’t so easy to explain.  I am a big proponent of living your dreams, but if those dreams are not fueled by an inner personal connection to an undeniable source of delight (some may describe this as a calling), then roadblocks on the path to realizing them might put my dreams in jeopardy.  It doesn’t seem to me that something I am passionate about – something that feeds my very soul – should incur insurmountable obstacles or that I should have to struggle to experience it . However, I am not sure this distinction is understood in the current way passion is interpreted.

What is true passion?

I like the idea of passion feeling like a call from within; and knowing that I can become aware of the passion already inside of me. In the psycho-spiritual sense, passion is experienced as an all encompassing, joyful or happy feeling that flows from deep connection with your true essence, that higher consciousness of self, the feeling you have when you know you are on the right path, doing what you were meant to do.   My passion runs through my heart and soul waiting for me to align with it.

According to Dr. Wayne Dyer, “Passion is a feeling that tells you: This is the right thing to do. Nothing can stand in my way. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. This feeling is so good that it cannot be ignored. I’m going to follow my bliss and act upon this glorious sensation of joy.”

Think of something that speaks only to you, something you feel intensely happy about doing. It can be something that feels meaningful or purposeful. Passion is that exciting, emotional fuel or energy from your inner spirit that drives expression of your unique purpose.  It lights the creative spark within as you open your heart and feel a tingling within you. It doesn’t go away. In fact, its force grows bigger the more you focus on the joy it offers. Passion is the wonderful feeling of your Divine spirit alive within you, awakened and powerfully flowing enthusiastic energy to an idea that feels like it has to unfold as you contemplate it.  Consider passion as a new way of experiencing your authentic self, one that moves beyond the trappings of accumulating things and the approval of others, to living with gusto.

Passion lives in us all

The fulfillment of true passion comes from enthusiastically sharing gifts of the authentic self as you engage in the activities of your life.  Everyone has the presence of passion within because each of us has unique gifts and abilities that we can align with, creatively express and experience as our greatest joy. Passion isn’t dependent upon money or family dynamics, and there are no excuses that can prevent true passion. Passion is the key ingredient in fulfilling who you truly are – aligned with the energy of Spirit joyfully expressing.

How do you find something to be passionate about?

Take a moment to contemplate something that frees your passion. What can you be? Is there something you have been feeling called to do?  Write a book? Build a ship? Start a business? Perhaps you have a vision you have been carrying around for years. What wisdom do you have that gets your juices flowing? That’s all you need to know.  Be willing to allow your passion to speak up and feel the presence of your inner essence wanting to be active in your life. Give yourself some time to reflect as you think about your passion. Use a journal or a sketch pad to bring your passion forward in your imagination. Shape it into a vision – what does it sound like, feel like, look like? Let your enthusiasm create it to life.  Do not worry about how it will be accomplished. Just keep saying ‘yes’ to the feelings, images and the burning desire coming from within. Those are the signals your passion offers you to follow as you bring your dreams forward. You will find that you are propelled in a direction that seems motivated by a force beyond your control. Then when you experience good feeling ideas, or observe doors opening on your path be willing to act and take the next step.  Following your passion is the surest way to living a life of meaning, fulfillment and joy.

3 Steps To Tap Into Your True Passion

There is no need to struggle to tap into your passion. Passions can shift and change in intensity but in essence they are always with you.  Think again about that thing that gets you going and fills you with purpose.

  1. All the things you love to do, that motivate you because you fill up with a deep appreciation and love for them when you think about them are things that may ignite your passion.  However, you want to truly go to the depths of your soul to narrow in on them. Make a list of things you love and hone in on the top 5 things. You may start with a list of 25 but get it down to 5 by thinking about those things that you can lose yourself in; that make time, and the distractions of the outside world irrelevant to your enjoyment.
  2. Make it a point to express appreciation for the smaller passionate moments when you notice a feeling of joy flooding through you.  This can happen on walk outside in nature, or in the moment of a child’s smile. The more ways you appreciate passion the more passion you bring into your life.
  3. Tune into who you really are.  Act on the small things that excite you each day, that you feel inspired to do, without judging or measuring them against any standard except your own joy.  These are the threads that shed light on your path, connect you with your purpose and resonate with your passion. 

     

     Seeing with the Heart Guided Inspiration Journal.
    Available For Purchase HERE.

     

Marilyn Decalo Logo, Phoenix

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