Live The Life You Wish To Live

by Marilyn Decalo | Jan 18, 2019

What is stopping you from living the life you wish to live? Do you ever ask yourself questions such as, “Why don’t I have the job I want or the pay I want?”, “Why is this person I work for not treating me right?”, or “Will I ever find the love of my life?” We tend to think that others are responsible for our happiness. For instance, when it comes to expectations for satisfying experiences in the work environment we look to a supervisor or colleagues to fall in line with our path to success. When they don’t give us the raise we think we deserve or the assignment we want we might feel unappreciated or under valued. We have empowered them with determining our ability to feel good.

The key to living a life you wish for yourself is having the courage to take responsibility for creating your own happiness. Intentionally being responsible means listening to your own voice, connecting with and making choices that feel right to you and not focusing on what might be good for, or look good to other people. Respecting your inner truth does not mean ignoring the good ideas that others might share with you, Rather it is trusting that you deserve to enjoy a balanced life where well being is the norm, and it is your thoughts, feelings and actions that bring that into being. Empowering your inner guidance energizes and engages your passion to live a fulfilling life; the life that you desire without comparison to others standards, direction or approval.

Listen Less To Self-Doubt

While it’s true that others’ behavior and reactions to events you may engage in together are not your responsibility, your response to others’ behavior is not their fault or responsibility. Taking ownership of your emotions, thoughts and response to life’s ups and downs is the beginning of releasing the blame, victimization and struggle that disempowers you. There is no standard for measuring yourself except when you are focusing on arbitrary external conditions you believe to be true in your head. But that negative voice in your head telling you you don’t measure up isn’t real. It came from belief that outside opinions determine your worth. The only person judging you is you. One of the main reasons we don’t do what we want to do is because we believe others might judge us, judge our work or our abilities. We think we are vulnerable to what others might inflict upon us and in the process lose our connection to a vital expression of who we are. We strive for perfection in a seemingly impossible way – under terms dictated by limitations. However many have discovered that you don’t need to be perfect to start moving forward. You can stand in the middle of uncertainty filled with the power of trust and belief in your innate goodness, equipped with the awareness and intention of your heart’s desire, and take the next step.

However, when you are confused about your aspirations or choices and unsure of next steps it can feel like a crisis sometimes. If you have an important decision to make and no confidence about how to make it, and you are caught in a negative reaction to a challenging person or situation, indecision can be paralyzing. It can feel like spinning in place. You may find yourself looking to others for answers, anticipating your next move, thinking it through in 20 different ways – all of which involve spending a lot of time in self-doubt in your head. What if you acknowledge your self-doubt and do what you want you truly want anyway? What if you acknowledge those doubts, not try to push them away, make peace with where you are, and then listen, really listen, to the ideas, thoughts and dreams coming forward in your own heart?

Listen More To The Voice In Your Heart

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched but are felt in the heart.”

Helen Keller

We tell ourselves things like “I can’t write,” “I am not interesting,” “This isn’t going to work out for me,” and then we get that feeling of anxiety going. That feeling is a clue that there is something that you truly want, and you are denying and not trusting yourself to create it. Asking yourself what is at the core of that uneasy feeling or what is beneath that sense of panic will help you see past the doubt and self-judgment to the feelings that you truly want to express and experience. Those positive feelings that arise when you ask on the inner plane are the voice of your heart and soul calling you to the greater good in each and every decision or situation. You can be assured that no matter what the outside circumstances, you have touched the core of who you are. Are you ready to follow your joy rather than fear?

Life is not all or nothing. Life is a journey of exploring and trying new things, of following what feels good and brings joy, and of changing direction when an emotional storm is brewing. The wisdom to know that and to live your unique, authentic expression on your path is within your heart. Going inside to find the answers rather than becoming mired in what others think allows the positive part of your life to start to guide you.

Here Are Tools To Listen To Your Heart

You can live the life you wish to live now. Rather than waiting for a crisis to arise, begin to practice being aware of the voice in your heart now. You’ll be glad for where this connection leads you the next time you are challenged by indecisiveness.

Practice Meditation

Meditation is a great way to get to know your inner truth. A simple meditation technique is to find a quiet place to relax for 15 minutes each morning before jumping into your day, and sit calmly listening to meditation music while breathing deeply. As you breathe, focus on the feeling of the natural flow of air, in and out of the body. Enjoy the sense of peace that envelops you as you find more and more ease in your breathing and quiet in your mind.

When you have practiced meditation for just a week or so you will begin to notice becoming more aware of your intuitive senses, or gut feelings. It’s a sense of knowing what is right and hearing an inner knowledge from deep within.

Notice Messages From Your Heart

Use a journal to note guidance you receive from your heart. Your heart speaks to you continually and making a note of its advice allows you to contemplate and strengthen your connection rather than overlooking or minimalizing its’ voice. Your heart is unique and the messages it brings forth are uniquely for you and felt by you. Trusting in the wisdom of your heart is empowering yourself to be responsible for discovering your own truth and using it to improve your life. Writing down the direction the guidance from your heart is directing you; contemplate it and then use your reasoning intellect to support you in moving forward.

Once you find the loving guidance of your heart, you have entered the gateway to live the life you wish to live. You’ll never go back!

Tapping Into Your (True) Opinion Because It Matters

by Marilyn Decalo | Jan 11, 2019

Get To Know Your Own Opinions Through Your Emotions

The greatest opinion that you want is your own opinion – the essence of truth within you that influences your beliefs, thinking and emotions in any given moment. If you are experiencing illness, shortage of money, feelings of loneliness, ask yourself what is your opinion about what you are experiencing? How do you feel about what is going on in your life? Your emotions are the core of your power to overcome anything and you can use them as a guidance system for knowing your inner truth about anything in your life. Practice asking yourself what it is that you want, silently. Breathe in deeply and allow a feeling of peace to dominate your mind. Then gently ask yourself, “What do I want?” A general answer may come similar to, ‘I want to be healthy, happy and prosperous.’ Good. Start there. Don’t focus on how those things will come. Instead focus on how wonderful it feels as you imagine you are healthy, happy, and prosperous right now. Details will begin to fill in and you can start to connect with the good, uplifting feelings of enjoying what you want coming into focus in your mind. Think about those things that make your heart sing; that fill you up with excitement. For example, you might ask yourself, why do you want to be healthy? Because it feels good; moving the body freely, getting stronger and stronger. If you do this for about 5 minutes you will experience a state of noticeable well-being.

Connect With Your Opinions

The easiest way to connect inward to your core knowing is by deep breathing. Allow yourself to take the time to make that connection on a regular basis and you will be able to keep in touch with your source of wisdom, truth and creative expression. The insights and awareness you gain from this connection forms your opinion because as you connect to what feels good within you, you come into alignment with the unique truth of you! When you honor and allow your opinion to dominate, honor what you want, then that is what you create more of in your life. Your belief and opinion influences how you perceive situations, your health, abundance and relationships. As you consciously think in the direction of what you do want (rather than what you do not want), influenced by your opinion about it and the feeling of why you want it, you have tapped into the power that creates everything you desire. You can see that your opinion matters!

Your Own Opinions Are Powerful

Most of us don’t use our own opinions to guide us to what we want in life and live by default. Sometimes that turns out good and sometimes it can be bad. As you change your perspective and focus more upon your own opinions you begin living with intention and you are lighting your own path forward. It doesn’t matter what anyone else’s opinion is unless you accept it and own it. You want to honor your opinions because that is what makes you happy. Your own opinions are telling you what you want and don’t want because they are based on your good feelings. Keep your opinion compass pointed in the direction of that inner truth and you are always headed true north!

Here are three easy ways to cultivate your own opinions.

1. Care about how you feel. Ask yourself what it is you want and then why do you want that. When you start to get some ideas, ask yourself, which one feels best before making a decision. Do it because your heart says so, first. Feeling good is your natural state and your heart knows the path to opinions that demonstrate it. When you follow the trail to feeling good, your journey along the way is sure to be happy.

2. Use the power of your mind to send well-being and good, positive thoughts to your family, friends and those around you. Tap into the good feeling energy that already exists in the relationships you have to bring more of it to you. You have the power to shift the energy of your interactions through your intentional focus on well-being and on everything else you want that feels good. Intentionally guiding your thoughts about those you connect with on a day to day basis allows you to sync up with positive opinions that uplift you, others and that bring peace into your world.

3. Surrender old beliefs that no longer serve your highest and best interests. Beliefs like “I don’t deserve it.” “I’m not good enough.” Or, “I can’t.” You’ll see life differently. As you call forth your good feeling opinions about yourself because you know you deserve what you want, you step on a path to living more fully, authentically and in line with your heart and soul.

Once you connect inward and start listening to your own, authentic opinions you move more and more to what you truly want in your life. You’ll be surprised and delighted by what happens when you are on this wanted side of the equation.

Becoming The Butterfly

by Marilyn Decalo | Jan 4, 2019

Change is An Inside Job

Just like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly as it is breaking free from its cocoon, the new year reminds us that we have an opportunity to spread our wings and fly free of what has held us back in the past. To renew our dreams and desires, shed our limitations and consciously evolve. In the past 12 months as I have worked to release fear, anxiety and worry, and to focus on living as my authentic self, I have gained a greater understanding that transformation is an ongoing affair each day, unfolding present moment after present moment. I have noticed that as I allow my relationship with my Inner Self to take a more active role in my life, I am guided to appreciate more each day, even those things you might call challenges. The difference in allowing myself to be guided through conscious connection with my inner truth, rather than following the conditioned beliefs that come forward as “I should do this or that” is the sense of liberation I feel. With this feeling of freedom, I come to know myself more fully because I am open to experiencing what truly makes me who I am – my unique patterns, colors and light, if you will. Spreading my wings to express my unique gifts. As I have made the decision to surrender limiting beliefs and open to new perceptions on the inside, life in the outer world has changed, too.

Appreciate Your Infinite Intelligence

Butterflies are amazing. Monarch butterflies have a migration flight path of over 4000 miles from Brazil to Nova Scotia and back. They are able to find the same branch where they emerged from their cocoons on their return journey. They and many other species on earth exhibit the natural intelligence of their unique universal design. The don’t question or doubt their existence, they merely align with their true nature and live accordingly. Their brains are the size of a pin needle, yet they have a life force energy that tunes them into their paths. While the butterfly has always been a symbol of transformation, change, color and joy, it also symbolizes our internal ability to move from one perspective to another by following our inner truth. We possess the intelligence and inspiration to be all we can be. We can get clarity about what we want and need when we listen to inner wisdom.

Believe in Your Wings

My intended journey in 2019 is to be one of more self-expression and greater illumination of a joyful path forward by consciously aligning with the truth of my divine essence. Like the new butterfly who has transmuted its energy from the chrysalis stage and rebirthed, I am heeding the call of moving toward something better for myself. I recognize that the way has not always been easy; albeit the struggles I have experienced have prepared me for the transformation I am experiencing. In the process of shifting into my new perspective that life is meant to be enjoyed and well-being is my natural state, I have surrendered attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that I thought were central to my life. I have learned to look at the challenges that arise in my

life as a door opening, as an opportunity to grow. I believe in my new wings and trust that I am led to where I truly want to go – free from fear and ready for the next more magnificent stage.

Release The Old & Embrace The New

Before we begin to change we might have an impulse to research something new, check out a place we’ve always wanted to visit or leave a relationship. In our old forms we are getting ready for the next phase by digesting new ideas and we might feel compelled to make a move before we have fattened our hearts and minds in our cocoons. When it’s time for transformation we sometimes must fight our way out of our old paradigms and release old beliefs. If this is something that you are feeling then here are a few ideas to help you move through the barriers and old patterns.

1. Be courageous, and willing to stretch as you investigate something new. Change can initially be uncomfortable and nervous feelings are normal. Use a breathing technique to pause when discomfort arises and be curious about it rather than resistant. You’ll be surprised how it actually helps you move through to the next step.

2. Ask yourself what you value and why making a change will allow you to align with what matters to you most. Try asking, “Why is this change truly important to me?” Focus on the feeling your response brings through. Remember that you are always evolving to the best version of yourself. The answers to your “why?” are always within you and getting in touch with them offers you the purest motivation for making changes.

3. Don’t be hard on yourself. Approach mistakes, setbacks and course changes with an attitude of learning rather than self-criticism. Even if you don’t think you are 110% right you don’t have to wait. Put your trust in your desire for change and your inspiration. Be on your own side and have your own back. Each day is an opportunity to try again, to be on the path to our goals. If we are beating ourselves up and letting feelings of failure stop us, our desires can turn into struggles instead of the journey of joy and thriving we intend. Say to yourself, “Things are improving.”

As we are transforming and going into the unknown all of the excuses not to change that we ever thought of will show themselves. Hang in there because it just means you are in the cocoon stage and on your way to becoming the butterfly. Is it time for you to spread those wings and fly? If you want some support and more tools for changing your life, reach out to me – marilyn@marilyndecalo.com Also, check out my self-paced course, Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be….

At Peace Within

by Marilyn Decalo | Dec 7, 2018

What is it about the holiday season that makes me feel so good? The most important and profound things in life – the people, emotions and shared experiences, familiar and new – make the holidays meaningful. Within that sense of meaning, everything seems to come alive in a special way. The music, our family and cultural rituals, food only served at holidays and seasonal festivities are sensual delights. Then there are the lovely expressions of Spirit – getting together with others to wrap gifts, decorating the hearth, toasting life or simply helping neighbors – that exude an energy of connection and demonstrate how good caring about each other and our world feels. The inspiring influences of this time of year, when compassionate thoughts, stories of kindness, acts of giving and receiving, and offerings of hope and love connect and uplift us, fill my heart with a high spiritual energy. It’s as though a light emerges from within me and shines more brightly the more I take pleasure in our seasonal togetherness.

How do we experience the joys of the season of light?

There’s a beautiful experience to behold in the season of light and it starts with finding peace and contentment within ourselves. From an intentional perception of appreciation for all we are, and all we have – even with the challenges we are currently moving past – we connect with our basic goodness, the essence of our true selves in our hearts, minds and souls. Focus upon that inner connection to goodness allows awareness of the light within to arise. Our own inner wisdom is the doorway beyond limiting thoughts and beliefs. Open your heart to what is truly most important for you and experience the intelligence of Spirit that fills your world with light. When I allow the energy of peace to flow through me, I can discern how I closed off a part of myself and was seeing the world through a narrow slit. With intention and attention to what mattered most to me I moved past what I was seeing with my limited sight. When I choose my potential for good, and believe in the well-being of life, the door opens each day to a vast wonderland of ineffable joy.

Within each of us we can find the magic of good cheer, compassion and joys of the season. You don’t need to do anything extraordinary; just remind yourself of the peace and light that dwells in your own heart and mind, and intentionally focus on allowing it to shine brighter. You can imagine a simple candle growing brighter within or multiple candles lighting up your heart, your body, your home and your day. Surrender any resistance you may have to this satisfying experience and let that be enough. Do this for a few minutes each day and the peace in your heart is sure to echo throughout your activities not only this season but all seasons.

If you are looking for inspiration to guide you to a more peaceful perception of your life, my book,
Seeing With The Heart, A Guided Inspiration Journal is available here.

Abundant Living

by Marilyn Decalo | Sep 9, 2018

UNFOLDING JOY

Several of the most challenging experiences along my life journey have offered me opportunities to examine my belief in self-worthiness. I have not always seen things that way, but an inner awareness that life is meant to be enjoyed has led me to ask questions when outward appearances contradict the assertion that well-being abounds for all. Because of my inner quest and desire to understand what it is that prevents me from experiencing deep satisfaction more fully in life, I consciously travel the road to abundant living. I read the signposts, explore the bumps, remove roadblocks, navigate curves and even cruise the wide-open straights. Shifting into a consciousness of abundant living comes about first by intention. Intention to know ourselves more fully beyond current limitations and beliefs that we are not worthy of all we desire. We all have access to this natural state when we open to inner connection, soften and appreciate the goodness within, and let go of doubt. The path of abundant living has been an important avenue for knowing and growing myself as a divine-human being.

Surrendering Resistance

As I have sorted and sifted through thoughts, beliefs and limitations in my search for inner truth and authenticity one of the most valuable lessons I have learned is to have compassion and kindness for myself. Each time I encounter inner resistance to seeing myself or a situation through the eyes of divine love I surrender to my humanity, my human emotion, and give myself permission to listen to what my heart is telling me. I feel my feelings and allow the wisdom of emotion to show me what I might be holding onto or need to control; and then I ask myself, “Is this serving me?” Without getting too much in the weeds with painful emotion – spiraling out of control or into anxiety – I surrender. I release any doubt I hold about deserving to live through joy as I soothe and comfort myself into balance.

Seeing With The Heart

We all have a great capacity for healing, evolving and expanding to experience greater joy and abundant living. So much of what we experience in relationship, family or our careers is viewed through the lens of fear, pain and helplessness that we become blind to the divine-human premise that we are worthy of the joy we seek. This happens because we base our thinking on what others do, say or believe about what is good for us in life. When we attempt to live up to a standard of success that society deems best, accomplishing it can feel like striving and struggle. It is then easy to become self-defeated when we encounter hardship because we see ourselves as failures. Usually we will then push to overcome the bad feelings and start down a path of self-hate, shame or guilt. This happens because our energy in this situation is not flowing from the truth of inner joy. Approaching life from a natural state of peace and balance can be found within when we open and see ourselves, others and life with our hearts. This means allowing time and space for breathing into what it is that makes us unique, recognizing the creative spark of each of us as divine and loving and knowing without doubt that we deserve to express that in co-creative ease and grace. Abundant living stems from the illumination of abundance in our lives. Illumination of abundance means seeing ourselves as abundant, worthy of abundance and understanding our power to choose a consciousness of abundant living. By preference we can experience inner connection with divine love, see its’ reflection in our daily lives – through people, nature, animals, music and common activities – and appreciate an abundant feeling of well-being.

3 Ways to Live Abundantly

1. Use the present moment to activate feelings of abundance.

Notice right now what you are thinking about yourself, your life or your situation. Are you feeling hopeless? If so, shift out of thinking about whatever your problems may be and allow yourself to picture abundance flowing into your life, right now. Make this a practice and actively shift your thinking to ideas and dreams of abundance whenever you start down a road of negative feelings. Pretty soon you will be eager and look forward to the better feeling thoughts of abundance.

2. Affirm you are the abundance that you seek.

As a divine-human, your essential-self offers you a steady stream of love in expression of your creativity, kindness, compassion, beauty and abundance. Watch your beliefs about self-worth and resistance to ideas about living abundantly. Use affirmations like, I attract abundance into my life because that is what I am.

3. Set intentions to receive and flow abundance in specific forms and detail.

Your supply is unlimited in the universal flow of abundance. Think about and act as if you are living your abundant life. Start where you are and set intentions for more abundance. Use your imagination and creative abilities to live abundantly as a “must”, not a wish. The more you enjoy out-picturing all that you desire and dream of, and partake in the generosity in your life today, the more you activate the energy of attraction to fulfill your intentions.

When things fall apart and you are living with uncertainty, it helps to get emotional support. I want to help you not only recover your footing but confidently create a new path to happiness. Adversity can be an opportunity to get on track to truly fulfilled living and I can teach you how. Reach out to me to learn more: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

Vulnerable : What Does It Mean To Be Vulnerable?

by Marilyn Decalo | Aug 25, 2018

What Is Vulnerability?

Lately I have been thinking about how I experience vulnerability. Due to my recent desire to understand and embrace the full range of my emotional response to what has felt like overwhelm with life challenges, I have found myself on new ground, Rather than deny any uncomfortable feelings I am opening up to welcome and explore new dimensions of myself, including vulnerability.The experience has spurred conversations with like-minded spiritual seekers about what it means to allow myself to feel vulnerable. In the past when the subject of vulnerability has come up I usually avoided it. This time the conversation focused on opportunities for growth yielded from feeling one’s vulnerability. At first, I found myself sidestepping the conversation, and then I stopped to ask why. I asked myself and my friends directly, “What might vulnerability offer that I am afraid to experience?” The responses I received from my inner self, enhanced by comments from friends were insightful, profound and changed my view of what true vulnerability means.

Is Feeling Vulnerable a Negative?

Many of us believe that feeling vulnerable is a negative – a state of feeling helpless or indefensible to others who might be able to take advantage of our weakened position emotionally, physically or mentally. This is an old paradigm, so to speak, of vulnerability – feeling weak like a victim. It comes from beliefs – mine or others – that I am unsafe, insecure or unstable. While certain situations in our childhood or past might fuel these beliefs and contribute to our present understanding of vulnerability, shifting our thinking about vulnerability offers many positive rewards along our paths to living an authentic, joyful life.

I realize now that it is possible to transform beliefs about what it means to be vulnerable, and a more positive mindset allows us to accept and feel vulnerability without fear. The old paradigm is based upon an egotistical perspective that wants to protect and shield us from detrimental situations or experience, which is all right and good, but the basis of that paradigm is the belief that we need protecting, that someone can hurt us. The truth is that once we recognize our power over our emotions and thoughts we can set our boundaries and no one can truly hurt us unless we give our permission.

True Vulnerability

True vulnerability opens the heart to be all that we are, to accept and cherish the human blended with the divine experience of life on earth, to find the compassion and caring that creates change in our perspectives of one another and the evolution of us an individuals and societies. This may seem to contradict the tenets of the MeToo movement or instances where domestic violence, police brutality, racism or child abuse are prevalent. But when we stop seeing ourselves through the eyes of beliefs steeped in a fear-based world and realize that we are the embodied power of love, able to create a love-filled world, then that belief becomes our rock, our inner strength, our north star, our core essence – always available to fuel our creative expression in the world. We now see ourselves and experience life much differently; indeed, our reality shifts. We feel compassionate, caring; and as we come to understand suffering or struggle as a common human experience we consciously uplift ourselves making a difference in how we shape our lives.

Being vulnerable today means that I am ready to go to my next level of awareness and insight – spiritually, emotionally and mentally – unconditionally. I am ready to tune into my intuition, trust in my intentions for creating a life of well-being and love with no judgements. When I am vulnerable now I am open to new revelations about myself, not stuck in the past or limiting myself with excuses why I cannot enjoy what I desire. I open my heart, like a book, and let others read it, unafraid of how I might be perceived because I am comfortable with my story. This is the real me, ready to accept and connect with who I am on a pure, authentic, positive level.

Other Ways Of Experiencing Vulnerability

There are other ways to experience vulnerability like looking up at a starry sky and feeling awe over our celestial and earthly magnificence. The strong emotion of awe is profound and magical; it allows us to be vulnerable, to be filled with the emotional energy of essential goodness which permeates and at the same time transcends daily life.

It takes a bit of courage to let down the guard, reveal the truth that vulnerability frees, live authentically and allow the world to know us as we know ourselves. Freedom is the gift of vulnerability – willing to be in that open space of feeling and receiving the goodness we truly are and deserve, confident in our connection with the energy of divine love.

I am curious about what vulnerability means to you. Please share your thoughts and feelings in the comments.

Enrollment is now open in my online course “Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be”. This self-paced course will be taking you on a deep dive within in order to understand who you are meant to be and make the shifts in your awareness and thinking to get the results you want to live life passionately, joyfully, and satisfied.

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