Turn Your Setback Into A Comeback

Turn Your Setback Into A Comeback

Turn Your Setback Into A Comeback

 

When life’s challenges get you down it’s easy to lose hope in everything, including your beliefs. Not only does the future seem bleak, but it can be hard to face present realities and take care of daily relationships or responsibilities. Life’s low points can feel like something awful has sucked the wind out of you, leaving you uncomfortable and doubting what you have believed about yourself and the nature of life itself. You may intellectually know that life has ups and downs yet still find yourself trapped in negative emotions and fear-based thinking. Those worry thoughts cloud your days and pretty soon a serious funk sets in. You are experiencing a setback.

 

Faith is Key to Your Comeback

 

The nature of many setbacks is that you tend to get more discomfort, further challenges in different forms before things get better. This is because you are focusing on the hardship you are experiencing. Your attention, thoughts and emotions are steeped in reverberations of present circumstances and positive momentum forward wanes. If you have lost your job, a loved one or a significant relationship, and consequently doubt your ability to find joy again in life, redefining your core beliefs and realigning with faith in yourself along with faith in a friendly universe are key steps in creating your comeback. This may be too difficult to accept in the moment but it is  important for getting securely on the comeback trail.

You have the ability to realign your thinking about who you are as you increase your awareness of your own inner brilliance. Think about a time in your life when you felt that you were expressing your true self and you felt “in the zone.” Perhaps it was in a conversation, the development and execution of a project, a career move or fulfilling a dream. That feeling of being in a flow where thoughts, words and action line up to deliver a powerful sense of satisfaction with yourself – maybe there are goosebumps – is your brilliance shining through. If you stop and take a deep breath right now, and connect in with that sense of openness and awareness of your inner brilliance you can step into alignment with your essence. It isn’t about faking it, it’s an honest feeling of appreciation for the goodness, insight and gifts that come to life through you – your thinking, feeling, words and actions. Practicing this state of being in awareness brings more consistent knowing and faith in yourself, and allows you to have faith in well-being again.

 

Use Your Setback to Plot the Course of Your Comeback

 

I believe we live in a friendly universe that wants for me what I want. By birthright, we are each worthy of love, abundance, joy, health and freedom. Rather than turning away from challenging thoughts and feelings during a setback ask yourself what information, learning or growth they might offer. When we are aware of how we are perceiving ourselves or others in the midst of a challenge we have important information about outdated or limiting beliefs we might be holding onto, where we are neglecting ourselves and giving our power away, or simply how we might have more compassion and self-acceptance as we walk through our challenges and rebuild. Your comeback is an opportunity to move forward on solid ground with faith restored in yourself. When you have faith in yourself you open the door for the momentum to build. Soon you will find that confidence, trust and hope arise to propel you a new direction.

If you are experiencing emotional repercussions from loss in relationships, career or a major life transition, and would like support hitting the reset button, please reach out to me to discuss transpersonal counseling: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

If you are experiencing emotional repercussions from loss in relationships, career or a major life transition, and would like support hitting the reset button, please reach out to me to discuss transpersonal counseling: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

Abundant Living

Abundant Living

UNFOLDING JOY

 

Several of the most challenging experiences along my life journey have offered me opportunities to examine my belief in self-worthiness. I have not always seen things that way, but an inner awareness that life is meant to be enjoyed has led me to ask questions when outward appearances contradict the assertion that well-being abounds for all. Because of my inner quest and desire to understand what it is that prevents me from experiencing deep satisfaction more fully in life, I consciously travel the road to abundant living.  I read the signposts, explore the bumps, remove roadblocks, navigate  curves and even cruise the wide-open straights. Shifting into a consciousness of abundant living comes about first by intention.  Intention to know ourselves more fully beyond current limitations and beliefs that we are not worthy of all we desire.  We all have access to this natural state when we open to inner connection, soften and appreciate the goodness within, and let go of doubt.  The path of abundant living has been an important avenue for knowing and growing myself as a divine-human being.

 

Surrendering Resistance

 

As I have sorted and sifted through thoughts, beliefs and limitations in my search for inner truth and authenticity one of the most valuable lessons I have learned is to have compassion and kindness for myself. Each time I encounter inner resistance to seeing myself or a situation through the eyes of divine love I surrender to my humanity, my human emotion, and give myself permission to listen to what my heart is telling me. I feel my feelings and allow the wisdom of emotion to show me what I might be holding onto or need to control; and then I ask myself, “Is this serving me?” Without getting too much in the weeds with painful emotion – spiraling out of control or into anxiety – I surrender. I release any doubt I hold about deserving to live through joy as I soothe and comfort myself into balance.

 

Seeing With The Heart

 

We all have a great capacity for healing, evolving and expanding to experience greater joy and abundant living. So much of what we experience in relationship, family or our careers is viewed through the lens of fear, pain and helplessness that we become blind to the divine-human premise that we are worthy of the joy we seek. This happens because we base our thinking on what others do, say or believe about what is good for us in life. When we attempt to live up to a standard of success that society deems best, accomplishing it can feel like striving and struggle. It is then easy to become self-defeated when we encounter hardship  because we see ourselves as failures. Usually we will then push to overcome the bad feelings and start down a path of self-hate, shame or guilt. This happens because our energy in this situation is not flowing from the truth of inner joy. Approaching life from a natural state of peace and balance can be found within when we open and see ourselves, others and life with our hearts. This means allowing time and space for breathing into what it is that makes us unique, recognizing the creative spark of each of us as divine and loving and knowing without doubt that we deserve to express that in co-creative ease and grace. Abundant living stems from the illumination of abundance in our lives. Illumination of abundance means seeing ourselves as abundant, worthy of abundance and understanding our power to choose a consciousness of abundant living. By preference we can experience inner connection with divine love, see its’ reflection in our daily lives – through people, nature, animals, music and common activities – and appreciate an abundant feeling of well-being.

 

3 Ways to Live Abundantly

1. Use the present moment to activate feelings of abundance.

Notice right now what you are thinking about yourself, your life or your situation. Are you feeling hopeless? If so, shift out of thinking about whatever your problems may be and allow yourself to picture abundance flowing into your life, right now. Make this a practice and actively shift your thinking to ideas and dreams of abundance whenever you start down a road of negative feelings. Pretty soon you will be eager and look forward to the better feeling thoughts of abundance.

2. Affirm you are the abundance that you seek.

As a divine-human, your essential-self offers you a steady stream of love in expression of your creativity, kindness, compassion, beauty and abundance. Watch your beliefs about self-worth and resistance to ideas about living abundantly. Use affirmations like, I attract abundance into my life because that is what I am.

3. Set intentions to receive and flow abundance in specific forms and detail.

Your supply is unlimited in the universal flow of abundance. Think about and act as if you are living your abundant life. Start where you are and set intentions for more abundance. Use your imagination and creative abilities to live abundantly as a “must”, not a wish. The more you enjoy out-picturing all that you desire and dream of, and partake in the generosity in your life today, the more you activate the energy of attraction to fulfill your intentions.

 

 

 

When things fall apart and you are living with uncertainty, it helps to get emotional support. I want to help you not only recover your footing but confidently create a new path to happiness. Adversity can be an opportunity to get on track to truly fulfilled living and I can teach you how. Reach out to me to learn more: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

Using Spiritual Awareness To Know Yourself

Using Spiritual Awareness To Know Yourself

SPIRITUAL AWARENESS

Complete connection with who I am is what I want because when I know myself as the loving, compassionate, masterful, and divine being at my core, my moments of life are profoundly enjoyable.  I admit that I slip in and out of that delicious state of consciousness, prone to the influence of others, tossed around a bit by distractions, resistant thoughts, beliefs and emotions.  But my intention these days is to stay in that higher, clear, joyful state more and more often, to feel the uplifting alignment with positive vibrations.  The most natural way that I have learned to show up in those situations that challenge me to remember the truth of who I really am, is spiritually aware.  When I am spiritually aware I invite my higher self into my life so I can fully inhabit and live my experiences as the authentic person I am capable of being. The big difference of a spiritually aware approach to knowing oneself, is the emotional willingness, conscious openness and deliberate focus on the unlimited potential for good that comes from connection with the divine self.

 

THE PATH TO YOUR FULL POTENTIAL

Each individual is unique and we all want to reach our potential – all the things that life has caused us to want.  I ask myself more frequently these days, am I allowing the experiences of my life to be the catalyst for connecting with my inner being?   Sometimes I get under the influence of what I see as current events or others’ state of being.  But I realize that the key to satisfaction is spiritual awareness that I am moving in the direction of my potential, rather than focusing on the physical outcome itself.  The connection to Source and being in an attitude of satisfaction with the emotional feeling of being a part of everything that is becoming, of the energy that is always flowing around me, is a new perspective. It’s a quantum field perspective that acknowledges our ability to utilize the energy of what we perceive as true and real to create our experiences.   As I relax into it I notice that I see everything and everyone in the process of creating experiences, including myself, based upon who we think we are.  This is perhaps the most important reason to know yourself – so you can live your life as you truly are meant to.

I must step back and state that I believe I am a magnificent being, an energetic creation and creator. Yes, I am physical and my blood, bones and flesh are me, too.  When I attempt to interpret who I am from my spiritual awareness – a fuller awareness of my potential for choice, freedom, love, joy and vibrant health and abundance, I get a true reading of who I am.  I am an extension of the energy of All-That-Is.   I came to this understanding through my own pain and suffering when I finally surrendered the struggle and asked for guidance.

 

WHAT IS SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE?

Spiritual guidance has come out of the exclusive domain of the religious institutions challenging the rules of what being good or bad means and fostering reliance upon the individual human’s connection to their inner wisdom and flow of goodness. Those societal and religious standards that silence your inner voice and connection to your own divine essence may be well intended but they can cut you off from knowing your true self.  Do you live your life by rules or by the integrity of your own heart and mind? Are the opinions of others influencing how you perceive yourself and live your life? Knowing who you are and acting from respect and love for yourself first is not only being authentic but it allows you to respect others for who they are. Establishing and maintaining a harmonious connection between you and your spiritual essence is not only how we remain true to ourselves it is how we move forward with enhanced joy and able to serve better.

Open yourself up to discover your inner divinity and tune into the invisible intelligence that flows life through your physical self.   You can feel the connection to the Infinite in your breath, the animating force of spirit.  Discover your true self and come to rely upon it at all times.

Dr. Wayne Dyer put it this way: “If we are true to the divine wisdom within, we’ll be ready to follow our path and make our unique contribution to the world.”

 

HOW DO WE KNOW OURSELVES?

 

There are many ways we can know ourselves.  One way is through what seems like the practical, everyday sense – the way we interpret our experiences, evaluating our likes and dislikes, our strengths and weaknesses.  But the question then arises, does the life you are living reflect who you really are?  And, are you reacting to circumstances and outward events or circumstances that are dictated by the ideas or beliefs of others or are you appreciating your outside world because it affirms the truth of what you believe about yourself, the expression of who you are within?

  • Each one of us is a unique, authentic creative expression and creator of the experiences of our lives.  When we know our own heart, the inner, expanded self where our essential nature speaks, we find the truth of who we are by connecting with the presence of love, joy, wholeness and peace.  In our openness to flow of the energy from our inner being and connection to our own wisdom we are empowered to know and appreciate ourselves as divine.
  • Cultivate your natural joy for being alive by recognizing the living light in you that is your true essence. When you accept this, you allow the experience of who you really are to unfold more and more in your conscious awareness.
  • Practice this connection to your true self in meditation to build trust in the process of allowing it more and more and no longer feeling you are living others ideas of who you are.

Remain confident that through continued reliance on your spiritual awareness you are aligning with your highest self and on your way to manifesting your unique dreams and destiny. What do you choose?  Who you are based upon the whims, decisions and ideals of others, or living through the joy of knowing yourself as the magnificent divine being you are meant to be?

 

Contact Marilyn@marilyndecalo.com for a free breakthrough session and start to live stronger, emotionally balanced and in tune with your authentic self.

Be the Captain of Your Heart

Be the Captain of Your Heart

Be the Captain of Your Heart and You Will Be the Captain of Your Life

What kind of life do you desire to live?  All human beings want to be happy and live a good life, but what does that truly mean to you deep down?  I had the pleasure of speaking with a master and commander recently who, full of enthusiasm and expectation for a joyful, gentle, abundant and love-filled life (his words), explained to me how he had become not only captain of his ship but captain of his life.

I was impressed by the captain’s conviction that life was his for the asking and enjoyment of it, and I was curious about how he had come to his wonderfully enthusiastic perspective.

The commander told me that it hadn’t always been that way.  He had made a conscious choice to have a gentle, happy, easy life after losing a difficult battle with the sea while captaining his boat and a crew.  Following his ordeal, the commander isolated himself on remote islands off the coast of Australia, carrying a painful burden of despair. After going through some months of feeling distraught, questioning the value of his life, he discovered the voice of his inner explorer beckoning, becoming louder each day even as he focused on his pain. It took him a while to listen, he said, but soon his inner calling was just too loud to ignore.  He realized he needed to make some decisions about not only what he wanted next but how he wanted to feel. Would he continue to wallow in hurt and or use his pain as an opportunity to make some positive changes? Just that bit of soul searching put him on a better feeling trajectory where hope could enter his heart.

Pretty soon he was telling himself things like, “nothing but the best,” and “ignore the beast, follow the feast” (his words, again). That remarkable shift in the core of his thinking and feeling allowed him to slowly, consciously pilot his life forward; and that was the key difference – he was consciously piloting his life now. I could sense the power and truth of what his inner shift had led him to know because as he spoke to me I could feel his expectation of happiness resonate in my heart.

Challenges Are Opportunities

The captain commanded his desires into fruition because first, he came to understand and command the power of his own conscious, emotional awareness. Creative energy or creative expression is set through the energy of emotions (e-motion) and we have choices in each moment about how we feel. The captain recognized his inner power to feel good by lining up his emotional (or feeling) nature with his desires.   He made the important decision to keep his focus on inner (heart) happiness and from there everything else flows.

Beginning with just a slight bit of inner hope – the inner call to renew his adventure of exploring – and then openly questioning his path forward, the commander had simply surrendered resistance and became willing to recreate himself and his life.  The universe responded by offering evidence of the power of his decision to become a deliberate creator – his life is filled with wonderful new adventures but more importantly, his heart is full of the love that attracts all those adventures. He is a conduit for his own joyful energy, the same joyful energy each and every one of us can experience.

How do you become the captain of your heart?

Becoming the captain of your heart is not about the manifestation of things.  We tend to put our energy and effort into what we want to acquire rather than on feeling good first.   Captains of the heart are pleased with what they think about and feel as they come into harmony with their true, innermost creativity and desires.  That starts with being okay with where you are in this moment, here and now.

The captain made a decision to feel good in his experience of life, in the present moment where he was standing. That decision summoned the energy of hope and inspired him to use his growing conscious awareness to conjure his life on his terms.

The value of emotionally soul-searching for why you want what you want until you feel it is yours in your heart is that in the process your energy for creating your desires grows stronger. That is the eternal secret the captain discovered. Now he watches the manifestations of his joyful heart move into and through his life daily with surprise and delight.

Seeing With The Heart

In my new book, Seeing With The Heart, I take the reader through a guided journey of exploring and growing a heart-felt connection with their true self. Opening the door to loving oneself, finding compassion for where you stand and connecting with authentic power is the process for stepping to the helm of your joyful life. I invite you to take the next step and become the captain of your heart.

True Passion

True Passion

There is a bit of a debate going on about overuse of the word ‘passion’ to describe doing what you love.  It seems that it doesn’t matter if you are talking about a career, a relationship or an exercise routine, passion has become synonymous with feeling like you are “all in” to whatever excites you most. In my own life I have felt enthusiastic about many things but I am not sure I would classify doing them as my passion. So that made me wonder, what is true passion?

Perhaps the controversy over ‘passion’ has more to do with attempts to define it simply as ‘living your dream’ rather than delving into the emotional aspects of passion – that inner excitement that isn’t so easy to explain.  I am a big proponent of living your dreams, but if those dreams are not fueled by an inner personal connection to an undeniable source of delight (some may describe this as a calling), then roadblocks on the path to realizing them might put my dreams in jeopardy.  It doesn’t seem to me that something I am passionate about – something that feeds my very soul – should incur insurmountable obstacles or that I should have to struggle to experience it . However, I am not sure this distinction is understood in the current way passion is interpreted.

What is true passion?

I like the idea of passion feeling like a call from within; and knowing that I can become aware of the passion already inside of me. In the psycho-spiritual sense, passion is experienced as an all encompassing, joyful or happy feeling that flows from deep connection with your true essence, that higher consciousness of self, the feeling you have when you know you are on the right path, doing what you were meant to do.   My passion runs through my heart and soul waiting for me to align with it.

According to Dr. Wayne Dyer, “Passion is a feeling that tells you: This is the right thing to do. Nothing can stand in my way. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. This feeling is so good that it cannot be ignored. I’m going to follow my bliss and act upon this glorious sensation of joy.”

Think of something that speaks only to you, something you feel intensely happy about doing. It can be something that feels meaningful or purposeful. Passion is that exciting, emotional fuel or energy from your inner spirit that drives expression of your unique purpose.  It lights the creative spark within as you open your heart and feel a tingling within you. It doesn’t go away. In fact, its force grows bigger the more you focus on the joy it offers. Passion is the wonderful feeling of your Divine spirit alive within you, awakened and powerfully flowing enthusiastic energy to an idea that feels like it has to unfold as you contemplate it.  Consider passion as a new way of experiencing your authentic self, one that moves beyond the trappings of accumulating things and the approval of others, to living with gusto.

Passion lives in us all

The fulfillment of true passion comes from enthusiastically sharing gifts of the authentic self as you engage in the activities of your life.  Everyone has the presence of passion within because each of us has unique gifts and abilities that we can align with, creatively express and experience as our greatest joy. Passion isn’t dependent upon money or family dynamics, and there are no excuses that can prevent true passion. Passion is the key ingredient in fulfilling who you truly are – aligned with the energy of Spirit joyfully expressing.

How do you find something to be passionate about?

Take a moment to contemplate something that frees your passion. What can you be? Is there something you have been feeling called to do?  Write a book? Build a ship? Start a business? Perhaps you have a vision you have been carrying around for years. What wisdom do you have that gets your juices flowing? That’s all you need to know.  Be willing to allow your passion to speak up and feel the presence of your inner essence wanting to be active in your life. Give yourself some time to reflect as you think about your passion. Use a journal or a sketch pad to bring your passion forward in your imagination. Shape it into a vision – what does it sound like, feel like, look like? Let your enthusiasm create it to life.  Do not worry about how it will be accomplished. Just keep saying ‘yes’ to the feelings, images and the burning desire coming from within. Those are the signals your passion offers you to follow as you bring your dreams forward. You will find that you are propelled in a direction that seems motivated by a force beyond your control. Then when you experience good feeling ideas, or observe doors opening on your path be willing to act and take the next step.  Following your passion is the surest way to living a life of meaning, fulfillment and joy.

3 Steps To Tap Into Your True Passion

There is no need to struggle to tap into your passion. Passions can shift and change in intensity but in essence they are always with you.  Think again about that thing that gets you going and fills you with purpose.

  1. All the things you love to do, that motivate you because you fill up with a deep appreciation and love for them when you think about them are things that may ignite your passion.  However, you want to truly go to the depths of your soul to narrow in on them. Make a list of things you love and hone in on the top 5 things. You may start with a list of 25 but get it down to 5 by thinking about those things that you can lose yourself in; that make time, and the distractions of the outside world irrelevant to your enjoyment.
  2. Make it a point to express appreciation for the smaller passionate moments when you notice a feeling of joy flooding through you.  This can happen on walk outside in nature, or in the moment of a child’s smile. The more ways you appreciate passion the more passion you bring into your life.
  3. Tune into who you really are.  Act on the small things that excite you each day, that you feel inspired to do, without judging or measuring them against any standard except your own joy.  These are the threads that shed light on your path, connect you with your purpose and resonate with your passion. 

     

     Seeing with the Heart Guided Inspiration Journal.
    Available For Purchase HERE.

     

The Self-Transformation Path

The Self-Transformation Path

Part 1: Connecting With Your Inner Self

Recently while writing my book, Seeing With The Heart, I learned how deeply transformational taking a new perspective – a more relaxed, inner heart-filled perspective –  can be. Many of us have successfully reinvented ourselves at some point in our lives in an effort to get ahead in our careers, fulfill a dream like having a family, or perhaps become more fit to improve our health.  Unlike trying to make changes in what you do in order to achieve a specific goal, I am going to talk about a different approach, a paradigm shift approach to creating a life you love that involves shifting your perspective, opening your inner connection to your divine self, and consciously expressing inner energy in your thoughts, words and actions.

A Steady Source of Guidance Within

First, the perspective shift is awareness and understanding that any outer manifestation is determined by your consciousness in any given moment, and that you can develop your inner guidance to become your own authority and expand your consciousness.  Are you feeling emotionally balanced and enjoying your circumstances? Is your mood positive and uplifted? While ups and downs are normal in our daily lives, a general overall and pervasive feeling of hopelessness is a state of consciousness that usually means you are letting your happiness be dictated by outside conditions. The way to shift that is to solidly establish your inner connection with the ever-present energetic flow of your divine self, which is the co-creative source energy that guides you, rather than by taking actions to correct or make things happen in the outer world.  This connection has been referred to as intuition, soul awakening and universal energy and it can be realized when you expand your sense of self through heart-centered or spiritual vision. It is not a surrendering of control. By any name it is simply opening to your soul’s voice, living your path with an empowered consciousness that brings the ideas, energy, vision, clarity and connections you need to move forward with your goals confidently and in sync with your authentic self. By receiving the power, love, wisdom, peace and inspiration that flows as you explore and perceive with the loving guidance of your inner self you can dissolve thoughts, beliefs and limitations that might emotionally impede you from experiencing all the good things you desire. Inner alignment to the core energy of your divine self-supports you in transforming your life experience from fear to freedom, feeling the love and guidance of the universe billowing your sails on your journey.

The Gift of Inner Connection

Your connection with your inner self is the biggest gift you can offer to yourself and those who surround you. It is the cornerstone of awakening human consciousness and engaging in the work of personal transformation in our lives as well as contributing to the shift of living more harmoniously in our communities.  Through heart-centered and awareness practices like journaling, meditation, nature walks, and other mindfulness activities you usher in and strengthen your connection to pure, positive energy. You choose those relationships and circumstances that radiate similar energy and grow through joy rather than through pain. Your resistance is lessened and you no longer need be affected by other people’s opinions, moods or energy. Every level of your life and consciousness changes, bringing new perspectives on your life, purpose and relationships.

Standing in the center of your inner energy, aligned with your true nature, seeing yourself and others through your heart, is the most powerful path of transformation.  This is how you bring through what you want to create in its most beautiful form, and in the process, give back to yourself the energy of love and joy. Seeing With The Heart is intended to assist you in opening up to the gentle and sweet consciousness of the truth of your being at whatever level of receptivity you are currently experiencing.

Exercise for Conscious Inner Connection

Here is an exercise for lifting up to the light within that allows you to more easily change your life.

  • Start by relaxing and getting comfortable.  Take several deep breaths slowly in and out.
  • Affirm that you are wise, loving, confident and powerful.
  • If you are ready to enter a new chapter of your life, you are already experiencing inner changes.  Your divine self is motivating you to make changes and showing you the way. Take a moment to acknowledge your inner, true self.
  • Think of the area of your life you wish to change.  Feel your divine self within you permeating your being, calling you forward on your path. Allow the divine self to shower that area with light, feeling it fill up and brighten up with warm, pink, gold light.
  • Ask that any blocks, thoughts, beliefs, emotions that might hold you back be released. Acknowledge and give permission for them to leave.
  • Ask for and open to receive from your divine self the qualities to move forward – inspiration, clear guidance, motivation and opportunities.
  • Picture your inner light growing brighter resonating with your desire and all those you encounter you can benefit from this light. Visualize your light connecting with all the cells in your body, and going forth from you with love to light your way, radiating to the earth, others and the universe.
  • Now let your vision go and retain the feeling that it has happened, you have received the change with joy.  Be open and expect things to change.

Seeing With The Heart- Guided Inspiration Journal

Marilyn Decalo Logo, Phoenix

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news, meditations, tips and more!

You have Successfully Subscribed!