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Live The Life You Wish To Live

Live The Life You Wish To Live

by | Jan 18, 2019

What is stopping you from living the life you wish to live? Do you ever ask yourself questions such as, “Why don’t I have the job I want or the pay I want?”, “Why is this person I work for not treating me right?”, or “Will I ever find the love of my life?” We tend to think that others are responsible for our happiness. For instance, when it comes to expectations for satisfying experiences in the work environment we look to a supervisor or colleagues to fall in line with our path to success. When they don’t give us the raise we think we deserve or the assignment we want we might feel unappreciated or under valued. We have empowered them with determining our ability to feel good.

The key to living a life you wish for yourself is having the courage to take responsibility for creating your own happiness. Intentionally being responsible means listening to your own voice, connecting with and making choices that feel right to you and not focusing on what might be good for, or look good to other people. Respecting your inner truth does not mean ignoring the good ideas that others might share with you, Rather it is trusting that you deserve to enjoy a balanced life where well being is the norm, and it is your thoughts, feelings and actions that bring that into being.  Empowering your inner guidance energizes and engages your passion to live a fulfilling life; the life that you desire without comparison to others standards, direction or approval.

 

Listen Less To Self-Doubt

 

While it’s true that others’ behavior and reactions to events you may engage in together are not your responsibility, your response to others’ behavior is not their fault or responsibility. Taking ownership of your emotions, thoughts and response to life’s ups and downs is the beginning of releasing the blame, victimization and struggle that disempowers you. There is no standard for measuring yourself except when you are focusing on arbitrary external conditions you believe to be true in your head. But that negative voice in your head telling you you don’t measure up isn’t real. It came from belief that outside opinions determine your worth. The only person judging you is you. One of the main reasons we don’t do what we want to do is because we believe others  might judge us, judge our work or our abilities. We think we are vulnerable to what others might inflict upon us and in the process lose our connection to a vital expression of who we are. We strive for perfection in a seemingly impossible way – under terms dictated by limitations. However many have discovered that you don’t need to be perfect to start moving forward.  You can stand in the middle of uncertainty filled with the power of trust and belief in your innate goodness, equipped with the awareness and intention of your heart’s desire, and take the next step. 

 

However, when you are confused about your aspirations or choices and unsure of next steps it can feel like a crisis sometimes. If you have an important decision to make and no confidence about how to make it, and you are caught in a negative reaction to a challenging person or situation, indecision can be paralyzing. It can feel like spinning in place. You may find yourself looking to others for answers, anticipating your next move, thinking it through in 20 different ways – all of which involve spending a lot of time in self-doubt in your head. What if you acknowledge your self-doubt and do what you want you truly want anyway? What if you acknowledge those doubts, not try to push them away, make peace with where you are, and then listen, really listen, to the ideas, thoughts and dreams coming forward in your own heart?

 

Listen More To The Voice In Your Heart

 

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched but are felt in the heart.”

Helen Keller

 

We tell ourselves things like “I can’t write,” “I am not interesting,” “This isn’t going to work out for me,” and then we get that feeling of anxiety going. That feeling is a clue that there is something that you truly want, and you are denying and not trusting yourself to create it. Asking yourself what is at the core of that uneasy feeling or what is beneath that sense of panic will help you see past the doubt and self-judgment to the feelings that you truly want to express and experience. Those positive feelings that arise when you ask on the inner plane are the voice of your heart and soul calling you to the greater good in each and every decision or situation.  You can be assured that no matter what the outside circumstances, you have touched the core of who you are.  Are you ready to follow your joy rather than fear?

 

Life is not all or nothing. Life is a journey of exploring and trying new things, of following what feels good and brings joy, and of changing direction when an emotional storm is brewing. The wisdom to know that and to live your unique, authentic expression on your path is within your heart. Going inside to find the answers rather than becoming mired in what others think allows the positive part of your life to start to guide you.

 

Here Are Tools To Listen To Your Heart

 

You can live the life you wish to live now. Rather than waiting for a crisis to arise, begin to practice being aware of the voice in your heart now. You’ll be glad for where this connection leads you the next time you are challenged by indecisiveness.

 

Practice Meditation

Meditation is a great way to get to know your inner truth. A simple meditation technique is to find a quiet place to relax for 15 minutes each morning before jumping into your day, and sit calmly listening to meditation music while breathing deeply. As you breathe, focus on the feeling of the natural flow of air, in and out of the body. Enjoy the sense of peace that envelops you as you find more and more ease in your breathing and quiet in your mind.

When you have practiced meditation for just a week or so you will begin to notice becoming more aware of your intuitive senses, or gut feelings. It’s a sense of knowing what is right and hearing an inner knowledge from deep within.

 

Notice Messages From Your Heart

Use a journal to note guidance you receive from your heart. Your heart speaks to you continually and making a note of its advice allows you to contemplate and strengthen your connection rather than overlooking or minimalizing its’ voice. Your heart is unique and the messages it brings forth are uniquely for you and felt by you. Trusting in the wisdom of your heart is empowering yourself to be responsible for discovering your own truth and using it to improve your life. Writing down the direction the guidance from your heart is directing you; contemplate it and then use your reasoning intellect to support you in moving forward.

 

Once you find the loving guidance of your heart, you have entered the gateway to live the life you wish to live. You’ll never go back!

Becoming The Butterfly

Becoming The Butterfly

by | Jan 4, 2019

Change is An Inside Job

 

Just like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly as it is breaking free from its cocoon, the new year reminds us that we have an opportunity to spread our wings and fly free of what has held us back in the past. To renew our dreams and desires, shed our limitations and consciously evolve. In the past 12 months as I have worked to release fear, anxiety and worry, and to focus on living as my authentic self, I have gained a greater understanding that transformation is an ongoing affair each day, unfolding present moment after present moment. I have noticed that as I allow my relationship with my Inner Self to take a more active role in my life, I am guided to appreciate more each day, even those things you might call challenges. The difference in allowing myself to be guided through conscious connection with my inner truth, rather than following the conditioned beliefs that come forward as “I should do this or that” is the sense of liberation I feel. With this feeling of freedom, I come to know myself more fully because I am open to experiencing what truly makes me who I am – my unique patterns, colors and light, if you will. Spreading my wings to express my unique gifts. As I have made the decision to surrender limiting beliefs and open to new perceptions on the inside, life in the outer world has changed, too.

 

Appreciate Your Infinite Intelligence

 

Butterflies are amazing. Monarch butterflies have a migration flight path of over 4000 miles from Brazil to Nova Scotia and back. They are able to find the same branch where they emerged from their cocoons on their return journey. They and many other species on earth exhibit the natural intelligence of their unique universal design. The don’t question or doubt their existence, they merely align with their true nature and live accordingly. Their brains are the size of a pin needle, yet they have a life force energy that tunes them into their paths. While the butterfly has always been a symbol of transformation, change, color and joy, it also symbolizes our internal ability to move from one perspective to another by following our inner truth. We possess the intelligence and inspiration to be all we can be. We can get clarity about what we want and need when we listen to inner wisdom.

 

Believe in Your Wings

 

My intended journey in 2019 is to be one of more self-expression and greater illumination of a joyful path forward by consciously aligning with the truth of my divine essence. Like the new butterfly who has transmuted its energy from the chrysalis stage and rebirthed, I am heeding the call of moving toward something better for myself. I recognize that the way has not always been easy; albeit the struggles I have experienced have prepared me for the transformation I am experiencing. In the process of shifting into my new perspective that life is meant to be enjoyed and well-being is my natural state, I have surrendered attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that I thought were central to my life. I have learned to look at the challenges that arise in my

life as a door opening, as an opportunity to grow. I believe in my new wings and trust that I am led to where I truly want to go – free from fear and ready for the next more magnificent stage.

 

Release The Old & Embrace The New

 

Before we begin to change we might have an impulse to research something new, check out a place we’ve always wanted to visit or leave a relationship. In our old forms we are getting ready for the next phase by digesting new ideas and we might feel compelled to make a move before we have fattened our hearts and minds in our cocoons. When it’s time for transformation we sometimes must fight our way out of our old paradigms and release old beliefs. If this is something that you are feeling then here are a few ideas to help you move through the barriers and old patterns.

 

1. Be courageous, and willing to stretch as you investigate something new. Change can initially be uncomfortable and nervous feelings are normal. Use a breathing technique to pause when discomfort arises and be curious about it rather than resistant. You’ll be surprised how it actually helps you move through to the next step.

 

2. Ask yourself what you value and why making a change will allow you to align with what matters to you most. Try asking, “Why is this change truly important to me?” Focus on the feeling your response brings through. Remember that you are always evolving to the best version of yourself. The answers to your “why?” are always within you and getting in touch with them offers you the purest motivation for making changes.

 

3. Don’t be hard on yourself. Approach mistakes, setbacks and course changes with an attitude of learning rather than self-criticism. Even if you don’t think you are 110% right you don’t have to wait. Put your trust in your desire for change and your inspiration. Be on your own side and have your own back. Each day is an opportunity to try again, to be on the path to our goals. If we are beating ourselves up and letting feelings of failure stop us, our desires can turn into struggles instead of the journey of joy and thriving we intend. Say to yourself, “Things are improving.”

 

As we are transforming and going into the unknown all of the excuses not to change that we ever thought of will show themselves. Hang in there because it just means you are in the cocoon stage and on your way to becoming the butterfly. Is it time for you to spread those wings and fly? If you want some support and more tools for changing your life, reach out to me – marilyn@marilyndecalo.com Also, check out my self-paced course, Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be…. 

Time To Follow Your Dreams

Time To Follow Your Dreams

by | Dec 31, 2018

Dreaming is one of humanity’s greatest gifts; it champions aspiration, spurs innovation, leads to change, and propels the world forward. – Sir Richard Branson

Have you promised yourself that 2019 is the year you start pursuing your dreams? The new year can be a great motivator to get on the path toward your desire. So if it’s time to make a decision to go for it then here are some suggestions on how you can make your dreams happen.

 

1. This Is Your Life

 

Only you know what will make you happy. Aren’t you worth giving it your best effort? By doing what you love you live your best life because you do more than just exist. Following your dream is empowering and is an opportunity to use your potential to create something new; to make a life you love. You will also serve as an inspiration to others who hope to do the same. You’ll touch the lives of many who surround you and encourage them to get on their own paths to living joyfully.

 

2. There Is No Time Like The Present To Be Happy

 

Wouldn’t it be great to wake up each day excited to do what makes you happy? Enjoying your days, weeks, months and years starts in this present moment. Your dreams are the outward expression of your creative energy; uniquely yours and you birthed them because they excite you. If we bury our dreams or put them on hold we deny our gifts, messages and creative contribution to the world. Not everyone follows their dreams but if you desire to live the life you’ve always wanted there’s no time like today to get going.

 

3. Get Clear That Your Dreams Are Possible

 

You can start to get a feel for doing something you’ve always wanted to do by exploring opportunities in the field. Do a little research, investigate the latest ideas, see what else is out there that could either be a stepping stone or get your adrenaline pumping. Move the energy around by writing down your new story – what will life be like as you become the person living your dream? Believing is seeing, so be sure to spend some time enjoying and envisioning your dream as it comes to life. Appreciating the steps on the journey allows you to enjoy the whole process and believe in it more strongly each day. You are beginning to live your dream which increases your motivation to accomplish it.

 

4. Remember Your Why

 

Your reason “why” you want a particular goal is the driving force that keeps you committed to accomplishing it. Write out your reasons and revisit them to renew your decision regularly. Remember your “why” if you start to waver or run into an obstacle, and start again. Persistence comes from an inner connection to your vision. You may need to find that inner strength and recommit when you encounter setbacks. However, your vision cannot be discouraged when you are in tune with your inspiration. Journal or meditate and visualize the feeling of accomplishing your dream regularly.

 

5. Dream big!

 

Take some time to allow yourself to ask, “What if it was bigger?” Don’t let negative thoughts discourage you. What others may say has no relevance to a dreamer. This is your dream and it is your heart and mind that has created it. While your dream won’t just happen, you can be sure that by focusing on your dream on a regular basis, feeling good about all of the details as they come into view, and planning out an inspired strategy – one that feels right from the inside out – eventually you will achieve your dream. Fueled by purpose you won’t worry about the unknowns. You have embraced who you are and you will feel inclined to see and do things you are you inspired to do.

 

6. Seek Out A Professional Mentor or Coach

 

One reason many dreams never go anywhere is because the dreamer keeps their dream quiet inside of them. If you want to accomplish your dream, stop making excuses for who and where you are. Going back is more painful than the unknown before you and your only real limitation is your consciousness. Once your decision is made you’re no longer strained in your abilities. You’ll no longer fear success or losing it all. If it’s time you really start showing up to live your dreams consider starting 2019 with a professional coach. I can help you keep accountable, focus your time and energy, and be enormously successful with only three to five hours of work each day. Email me today to get started right away! Marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

 

In the meantime, check out this great app building positive habits: http://productiveapp.io

The Message Is Clear

The Message Is Clear

by | Dec 21, 2018

 

Perhaps the uplifting music and messages of the holiday season has softened your heart and you might be enjoying a realization that you are more than you think. The sounds, sights and experiences of this time of year can offer you the gift of transcending your conditioned human mind to realize within your heart the truth of Jesus’s words: “You are the light of the world.”

 

There is more here than meets the eye.

 

When your sense of yourself shifts from identification with the thoughts and beliefs determined by society, family and the outside environment to an uplifting feeling within, to a sense of the unique expression of creative force that is you and yet connected with all that is, you are becoming more conscious of the energetic essence of your being. This is the consciousness that flows through all human beings; an intelligent consciousness that is more than the molecules and matter of human form. We have all had glimpses of this being-ness behind the human being when something jolts us into questioning and moving beyond the conditioned thought constructs that hold us in competition and separate from one other. We might be challenged to overcome loss, relationships, or experience psychological turmoil and turn inward to discove a deeper meaning for what is happening in our in our lives. In the process we reach a point where we let go of old points of view and open to a new more expanded dimension of consciousness about life. That shift, rising above the old energy, or old paradigm is awakening to the wisdom or light within you. Whether it happens with or without recognizing it, each of us has this very personal awakening experience when we are ready to grow in consciousness. At that point of we turn from being a victim of what we see to responding to what happens from a perspective of a co-creator, knowing we are a work in progress along with everyone else.

 

Tune into the seasonal shift.

 

Taking time for seasonal opportunities to appreciate the joys of life can be a doorway of greater connection with the universal impulse guiding us to become conscious of all that we are. We spend way too much time talking about what we are not, and in doing so limit our creative power. Letting go of the voices in our heads, compulsive thinking and obsessive action allows us to hear our truth, what our hearts have to tell us about what is most meaningful, how we share our unique gift and receive the gifts of others.

 

The earth’s seasonal shift from dark to light in the northern hemisphere is an exciting happening; a certain time of the year to celebrate our passing over to a new land. Passing over the old, dark energy and welcoming the light to come back inside to rekindle our essential self. The message of this season is clear, go from this time ready to change. Allow your light to shine into the world as the important expression of universal consciousness that you are

 

Three ways to engage with the Season of Light to shift your consciousness.

 

Appreciation – When you appreciate someone or something you tune into positive qualities, express heart-based connection. By feeling appreciation, you slip from thinking mode to feeling mode and naturally align with a joyful vibration. Appreciation, whether it comes from something outside of yourself or something you intended and manifested for yourself, is always refreshing and rejuvenating. The opportunities holidays offer for us to gather and spend time with loved ones are springboards for finding more appreciation of the blessings in our lives. If we take a step back and ask the universe to show us all the good there is for us each day, our waking state would be filled with a steady stream of things and people for us to appreciate.

 

Inner Peace – The practice of cultivating inner peace is undertaken to consciously align with more desirable mental and emotional state, but the benefits can be physical as well. Meditation, journaling, yoga, walking, playing music, can all be ways to cultivate a sense of inner connectedness and calm, and manage emotions. The conscious cultivation of inner peace is also an experience of knowing oneself – of getting in touch with what makes us truly happy, of finding more peaceful perspectives on those in our lives and events in our world. Self-care and inner reflection are important aspects of the solstice – a time to remind ourselves that our needs matter, and having a peaceful heart helps us prepare for the activities that more daylight brings into our lives.

 

Wonder – Affirming wonder is recognizing the power of life force energy propelled and flowing through an object. Wonder is a unique expression of the relationship between observer and observed. The intense connection in the moment magnifies the experience. Wonder is most often felt as a transcendent state, where one connects to the creative intelligence revealed in the thing, event or combination of elements. The Season of Light is touted as a season of wonder in a mystical sense. A time when our human nature is infused with the light of our divine nature and we see the world through eyes of delight and extraordinary love. Uniting experiences abound during the holidays and if we keep our minds and hearts open to the magic of wonder we will be led into higher states of being.

 

 

Are you looking for guidance in managing your feelings? Coaching sessions are available via Phone, In-Person in Colorado or Skype.

At Peace Within

At Peace Within

by | Dec 7, 2018

What is it about the holiday season that makes me feel so good? The most important and profound things in life – the people, emotions and shared experiences, familiar and new – make the holidays meaningful. Within that sense of meaning, everything seems to come alive in a special way.  The music, our family and cultural rituals, food only served at holidays and seasonal festivities are sensual delights.  Then there are the lovely expressions of Spirit – getting together with others to wrap gifts, decorating the hearth, toasting life or simply helping neighbors – that exude an energy of connection and demonstrate how good caring about each other and our world feels. The inspiring influences of this time of year, when compassionate thoughts, stories of kindness, acts of giving and receiving, and offerings of hope and love connect and uplift us, fill my heart with a high spiritual energy. It’s as though a light emerges from within me and shines more brightly the more I take pleasure in our seasonal togetherness.

 

How do we experience the joys of the season of light?

 

There’s a beautiful experience to behold in the season of light and it starts with finding peace and contentment within ourselves. From an intentional perception of appreciation for all we are, and all we have – even with the challenges we are currently moving past – we connect with our basic goodness, the essence of our true selves in our hearts, minds and souls. Focus upon that inner connection to goodness allows awareness of the light within to arise. Our own inner wisdom is the doorway beyond limiting thoughts and beliefs. Open your heart to what is truly most important for you and experience the intelligence of Spirit that fills your world with light. When I allow the energy of peace to flow through me, I can discern how I closed off a part of myself and was seeing the world through a narrow slit. With intention and attention to what mattered most to me I moved past what I was seeing with my limited sight.   When I choose my potential for good, and believe in the well-being of life, the door opens each day to a vast wonderland of ineffable joy.

Within each of us we can find the magic of good cheer, compassion and joys of the season. You don’t need to do anything extraordinary; just remind yourself of the peace and light that dwells in your own heart and mind, and intentionally focus on allowing it to shine brighter. You can imagine a simple candle growing brighter within or multiple candles lighting up your heart, your body, your home and your day. Surrender any resistance you may have to this satisfying experience and let that be enough. Do this for a few minutes each day and the peace in your heart is sure to echo throughout your activities not only this season but all seasons.

If you are looking for inspiration to guide you to a more peaceful perception of your life, my book,
Seeing With The Heart, A Guided Inspiration Journal is available here.

Turn Your Setback Into A Comeback

Turn Your Setback Into A Comeback

by | Oct 12, 2018

Turn Your Setback Into A Comeback

 

When life’s challenges get you down it’s easy to lose hope in everything, including your beliefs. Not only does the future seem bleak, but it can be hard to face present realities and take care of daily relationships or responsibilities. Life’s low points can feel like something awful has sucked the wind out of you, leaving you uncomfortable and doubting what you have believed about yourself and the nature of life itself. You may intellectually know that life has ups and downs yet still find yourself trapped in negative emotions and fear-based thinking. Those worry thoughts cloud your days and pretty soon a serious funk sets in. You are experiencing a setback.

 

Faith is Key to Your Comeback

 

The nature of many setbacks is that you tend to get more discomfort, further challenges in different forms before things get better. This is because you are focusing on the hardship you are experiencing. Your attention, thoughts and emotions are steeped in reverberations of present circumstances and positive momentum forward wanes. If you have lost your job, a loved one or a significant relationship, and consequently doubt your ability to find joy again in life, redefining your core beliefs and realigning with faith in yourself along with faith in a friendly universe are key steps in creating your comeback. This may be too difficult to accept in the moment but it is  important for getting securely on the comeback trail.

You have the ability to realign your thinking about who you are as you increase your awareness of your own inner brilliance. Think about a time in your life when you felt that you were expressing your true self and you felt “in the zone.” Perhaps it was in a conversation, the development and execution of a project, a career move or fulfilling a dream. That feeling of being in a flow where thoughts, words and action line up to deliver a powerful sense of satisfaction with yourself – maybe there are goosebumps – is your brilliance shining through. If you stop and take a deep breath right now, and connect in with that sense of openness and awareness of your inner brilliance you can step into alignment with your essence. It isn’t about faking it, it’s an honest feeling of appreciation for the goodness, insight and gifts that come to life through you – your thinking, feeling, words and actions. Practicing this state of being in awareness brings more consistent knowing and faith in yourself, and allows you to have faith in well-being again.

 

Use Your Setback to Plot the Course of Your Comeback

 

I believe we live in a friendly universe that wants for me what I want. By birthright, we are each worthy of love, abundance, joy, health and freedom. Rather than turning away from challenging thoughts and feelings during a setback ask yourself what information, learning or growth they might offer. When we are aware of how we are perceiving ourselves or others in the midst of a challenge we have important information about outdated or limiting beliefs we might be holding onto, where we are neglecting ourselves and giving our power away, or simply how we might have more compassion and self-acceptance as we walk through our challenges and rebuild. Your comeback is an opportunity to move forward on solid ground with faith restored in yourself. When you have faith in yourself you open the door for the momentum to build. Soon you will find that confidence, trust and hope arise to propel you a new direction.

If you are experiencing emotional repercussions from loss in relationships, career or a major life transition, and would like support hitting the reset button, please reach out to me to discuss transpersonal counseling: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

If you are experiencing emotional repercussions from loss in relationships, career or a major life transition, and would like support hitting the reset button, please reach out to me to discuss transpersonal counseling: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

Marilyn Decalo Logo, Phoenix

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