(303) 819-2503 Marilyn@MarilynDecalo.com
Trust In Loving Goodness

Trust In Loving Goodness

by | Sep 5, 2019

Dear Marilyn,

 

How can I come to accept loving goodness as my natural state of being when I see and experience pain and suffering that happens without a good reason?

 

This question comes from a deep desire to experience love, and to understand, what it means to love.  When you find yourself saying, “I should be more loving” and not really knowing how to do that, pay attention to where that thought is coming from.  Will behaving in a certain way change the conditions or the relationship so then you can feel more loving?  Are you using the idea of “love” to control how you think things should be so you can then be happy?   There is a difference between coming from a state of love or a loving consciousness and letting circumstances dictate whether or not you feel love.

The new approach to spirituality recognizes that we are divine beings having a human experience.  As divine beings we are each the dynamic expression of the Love that created Oneness – the Love of All That Is.  Love is who you are at your core. The energy of Love is dynamic, courageous, bold (not showy – that’s the ego), solemn, peaceful, humble and gives with no attachment to how its gifts are received.  In this sense love is unconditional, meaning it comes forth through connection with the inner self, not based on outside appearances.

Empower Yourself

You mistrust the idea of loving goodness because you have experienced something in your life that knocked you out of the feeling that love is present.   Some circumstances are not fair.  But fairness in the sense of an ‘eye for eye’ has nothing to do with dynamic power of love in action.  You may be harmed by someone but if you choose to hang onto the harm as a reason to disempower yourself and feel like a victim, you are choosing to feel hurt as well.  I am not saying that there is something wrong with feeling hurt, it’s a real emotion.  However, if you ask the question, what would love do allows the hurt and disempowerment to resolve.

It begins by loving yourself.  When your mind is being judgmental and critical toward yourself, you can stop and liberate your thoughts.  Feel into acceptance of yourself, no matter what the circumstances.  The first predator we disarm is the imaginary one in your own mind.  The critic in your mind is the reoccurring pain of all the things others have said to you and that you believed to be true. Know that you are worthy and deserving of all the joy your heart desires.  When your mind is overflowing with fulfillment, when you allow the love to be the dominant focus, you or anyone else in your life will no longer be the scapegoat for unhappiness.

What Would Love Do?

Love is the willingness to take a moment of your time, whether it’s with someone who has triggered you, has a conflict with you or is a great example of how quickly you can be turned away from love, and ask, “What would love do?”.  Love would see that person or situation as calling for love from you, as an opportunity for healing and forgiveness – both to yourself and to them.  Why would you offer that?  The reason is because the people who hurt you intentionally and unintentionally, wouldn’t feel the desire to hurt or abuse others if they felt whole.  Those in whom this desire to lash out or harm exists are expressing the energy of a pattern of pain and underneath they wish to be healed.  They are trying to heal themselves by projecting the pain they don’t know how to deal with onto others.

Thank them for reminding you that your light has the power to liberate you in the name of breaking the cycle of violence, abuse and pain.  That’s what love would do.   When you employ that strategy you will find a potent spiritual process of forgiveness.  For many forgiveness feels like you’re saying this is ok (nothing that has happened to you has to be ok).  If what happened is not ok, then shine your light to up-level the consciousness in both of you.  Use the power of your love to acknowledge the harm and release the hurt so this doesn’t happen to another.  Responding with love is responding with the opposite vibration.  It is possible in the midst of forgiveness to find a concern of equally helping all. In the body of a someone who is acting with unthinkable cruelty is the body of a victim who hasn’t been healed. 

You don’t need to wait for pain to heal yourself.  You can see the love, and send love, honor, generosity to all until your life is filled with a deep love that flows from within.  Your commitment to love affects the world with loving goodness. When you become the light in a darkened world, when you can bless someone who has hurt you with love, there is simply love to share.

Contact Marilyn
What is being in the flow, and how do I know if I’m connected?

What is being in the flow, and how do I know if I’m connected?

by | Aug 29, 2019

Dear Marilyn,

What is being in the flow, and how do I know if I’m connected?

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seemed to float along smoothly; where you meet up with the right people at the right time, and little blips like traffic on the way to work don’t bother you? Things just seemed to come easy, right? You felt energized as if you were a conduit for the flow of well being.  

The energy of flow comes from being in alignment with the divine shining through you.  A tell tale sign is that no one else’s condition brings you down. It is a feeling like you have stepped into a time outside of time where you exist in your authenticity and everything cooperates perfectly. Emotional problems disappear and there is an exhilarating feeling of transcendence.  

Everyone experiences flow from time to time and most are familiar with flow characteristics like effortless, unconscious, and performing at the peak of ability.  By cultivating a receptive state of consciousness, flow can become a more common and enjoyable aspect of life.  

 

Can flow be cultivated?

Flow is not often thought of as spiritual but there is a relationship that is worth exploring. Consider looking at flow through the lens of spirituality; as a practice of aligning with a natural stream of well-being, giving your attention to the core energy of goodness within, in order to allow new ways of experiencing creativity, growth and fulfillment.

Describing flow from the perspective of consciousness will give you an idea of how the flow of well-being is more readily available than you might think. Take a minute to feel the energy behind these descriptions as you read: Flow is an emotional state where you intuitively, innately feel like you are moving in the right direction. Flow is the path of well-being and ease, where doors open and you know that everything is working out for you.  It is a clear, familiar feeling of being connected with a powerful state of being; an energetic stream of creativity, love and abundance flowing through you.  You might sense that you are in the flow when you’re immersed in a project or activity that you love.  You have a feeling of being outside of time and space, often described as “losing track of time,” or “time flies.”  Being in a state of flow can also be experienced as a spiritual consciousness of deep fulfillment and connection with your inner authenticity.  If you think about the experience of flow as a heightened awareness of being in total openness and harmony with the here and now moment, a sense of knowing you are exactly in the right place at the right time, and doing what feels good, you can sense yourself connected with the energy of something greater.  It is exciting to be in this place of energy flow and well-being.  It inspires you to want to find the place of flow more and more.

 

What are some ways to cultivate conscious flow? 

 Feeling alignment with the flow of well-being, like you have tapped into a perfection that is focused through everything you see and do, is achieved by establishing and energetic connection with the inner self.   A sense of inner calm, peace and stability found within is the foundation for allowing the stream of well-being to flow in your daily experiences.  Mediation offers a relaxing way to release inner resistance – those thoughts, feelings and beliefs that cause you to doubt the reality of well-being – and raise your energetic vibration to one of heightened sensitivity to peace, harmony and flow. With practice you consciously become aware of what this new state of being feels like in your daily life, and consciously choose to release thoughts of resistance as they come up;  focusing instead on pleasing, positive thoughts 

Here are some other ways to cultivate flow: 

  • Set intentions to step into the pure, positive flow each day.
    • Make it a habit each morning to see yourself moving easily, effortlessly through your day. If you have a particular goal or objective in mind, then spend time imagining how perfectly it is accomplished.  Feel the feeling of what it is like to accomplish it successfully.  Does it feel like fun? Joy? Love?  Use these powerful emotions to enjoy your intentions as complete before you endeavor to take any action.
  • Lighten Up and Find Balance
    • It’s hard to find flow when you are stressed out. Relax into your activities, let yourself feel for the enjoyment and positive aspects of what you are doing.
    • Do not take yourself or others too seriously. Laugh, play and go slow when you can.  Notice differences with curiosity and try new things!
  • Listen to your inner inspiration and take action.
    • Follow your inspiration, which will always lead you to the next step of flow. Be content to explore that one step, and the next one will unfold.
    • You have an inner guidance that wants you to thrive. Trust in your intuition, believe in your desires, and relax.  Being immersed in the activity you are inspired to do in the moment is being in the flow.

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 If you have a question for Marilyn send it to:  marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you have questions about flow, your spiritual path or life balance, send them to Dear Marilyn: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com   I am always pleased to respond to your questions!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Does One Get Started With Spirituality?

How Does One Get Started With Spirituality?

by | Aug 19, 2019

Dear Marilyn,

How does one get started with spirituality?

By developing a curiosity about the whole self; the truth of who you are in totality.  For some of us this curiosity comes at a time we are experiencing a particularly challenging life event.  Perhaps in a vulnerable moment of feeling empty or lost you turn inward, and sensing there must be something more to life, you want answers from a higher power.  For others it might be a desire to know who you truly are after experiencing the end of significant relationship or job.  You feel it is now time to live life on your terms, and you want to understand what that means.  Or maybe a desire for release from the stress of incessant thinking, always doing for others and trying to control outcomes, causes you to seek the solace and peace of a place of worship.  You are more open to the idea of coming home to your true Self and in your curiosity about who you are, you become willing to explore perceptions of yourself and life beyond present concepts.

The meaning of spirituality is to become aware of and concerned with the spirit or soul nature; through tools, techniques and inspiration you can intentionally connect with your higher consciousness and allow more peace into your experience. Initially you may think that the purpose of becoming more spiritual is to change conditions in your life.  In reality the process of awakening is actually a process of knowing yourself as a divine creator and authentic expression of divine love.

It takes a very courageous soul to break away from the spell that holds human consciousness in the belief that happiness is found when conditions in the world conform to one’s wishes. The truth is that the world can never give you enough happiness because happiness comes from within, from your own feeling nature.  You start on the spiritual path by making peace with where you are in this moment.  Not judging yourself, not trying to change yourself, not wishing things were different, but by simply accepting yourself and appreciating everything that has brought you to this moment as necessary to being here, now.  This is your life and to deny the parts and pieces of it as wrong is to deny yourself love and appreciation for who you have become, and what has led you to decide to explore your spirituality.  So start with self-acceptance and allow everything you feel to be okay.  Whether it’s fear or love, just surrender to the moment, say, “I am here, now” and breathe.  Once you begin to take responsibility for your feelings, and how you feel about yourself, not blaming others for your feelings but recognizing you have the power to choose how you respond, you are on your way to knowing who you really are.  You are more powerful and magnificent than you ever imagined, and you do not have to struggle and suffer to have what you want.  Because what you truly want is to be the creator of more joy, peace and love.

There is no right or wrong way to get started on a spiritual path.  However, I do recommend that you learn to meditate if you do not already do so. The time spent in the peaceful, relaxing spaciousness of meditation allows you to connect with higher energetic vibrations and become familiar with inner balance and calm.   You can download my free meditation guide here.

I also recommend some wonderful healing guided meditations from my teachers, Aaron and Joseph found on their website: https://aaronandjoseph.pagecloud.com

If you are interested in exploring books about spirituality try https://www.holybooks.com

They offer lots of great, free downloads.

And if you are seeking a guide or coach to help you identify other resources, tools and techniques on your spiritual path, reach out to me to set up a time to talk: marilyn@marilyndecalo.com

 

Your Friend On The Path,

Marilyn

Reach For New Heights

Reach For New Heights

by | Jan 27, 2019

New Heights in Consciousness

 

In these days of greater awakening to more expanded states of consciousness we are thinking differently, listening to our intuitive nature more often, and increasing communication with our higher selves. To support a gentle and joyful integration of this new way of being with the experiences of daily life, it’s important to focus on ideas, wisdom and activities aligned with our highest light. Having conscious awareness of a desire to live and grow in harmony with our inner truth, to follow the light of a path that makes our hearts sing, requires that we practice connection with our authenticity each day. Creating lifestyle opportunities to nurture and reinforce joyful connection with the whole self is not only a purposeful perspective to explore. It is also a means for directing our inner and outer experiences to reach for new heights in consciousness. The thoughts we think, the blessings we perceive, the kindness and grace we offer ourselves and others can become deliberate choices. We can learn to trust and dialogue with our inner wisdom; to find our next step from our own opinions rather than the opinions of others. As we open our hearts and minds to let in a consistent flow of this inner light, we empower expression from the essential self; to think thoughts and take actions inspired from a dynamic, energetic place of authenticity and gratitude, which feels good.

 

New Heights in Awareness of Who I am

 

Consciously engaging the higher self is a co-creative experience of living holistically in resonance with a balanced sense of innate well-being. As the inspiration takes up more of our consciousness, our actions and activities tend to reflect that inner light, the spirit of love who we truly are awakening within, and we reach for new heights of awareness, knowing and expression. In reaching for these new heights we find peace, love, compassion and appreciation in our hearts, and we release our grip on the past. No longer settling for limitations that hold us in fear, doubt or false beliefs about our worthiness.

 

When I am reaching for new heights in conscious awareness of who I am as a divine-human, I am tuned into my higher-self. I believe in myself. I believe in my power to meet every moment with fortitude and I anticipate blessings. Expansion of consciousness feels like a spark igniting my soul, like a power surge of clarity in my heart and mind. I can see the light of love in others, and perfection in what earlier may have seemed like darkness.

 

Emergence of New Wings To Lift You Higher

 

There are lots of different options for to support you as you reach for new heights. You can think of activities and intentions that assist and guide you into new vistas as preparing you for your new wings of light to emerge. The wings that will lift you to new heights in the light of love. Engagement and participation in practices which cultivate inner connection like

meditation, journaling, yoga, spirituality, nature walks, prayer and dance on a consistent basis reinforce positive results and keep you growing in fulfilling ways.

 

As you reach for new heights ask yourself, “What makes my heart sing?” Follow that with conscious appreciation for the wisdom received because it brings you into alignment with the soul that is uniquely you and allows your growth to take root. Enjoy yourself as you reach for new heights knowing your place is to soar in new directions.

 

 

Marilyn Decalo offers one-one coaching sessions to help you acheive your goals! To learn more about Marilyn’s coaching options, click here. 

 

 

Live The Life You Wish To Live

Live The Life You Wish To Live

by | Jan 18, 2019

What is stopping you from living the life you wish to live? Do you ever ask yourself questions such as, “Why don’t I have the job I want or the pay I want?”, “Why is this person I work for not treating me right?”, or “Will I ever find the love of my life?” We tend to think that others are responsible for our happiness. For instance, when it comes to expectations for satisfying experiences in the work environment we look to a supervisor or colleagues to fall in line with our path to success. When they don’t give us the raise we think we deserve or the assignment we want we might feel unappreciated or under valued. We have empowered them with determining our ability to feel good.

The key to living a life you wish for yourself is having the courage to take responsibility for creating your own happiness. Intentionally being responsible means listening to your own voice, connecting with and making choices that feel right to you and not focusing on what might be good for, or look good to other people. Respecting your inner truth does not mean ignoring the good ideas that others might share with you, Rather it is trusting that you deserve to enjoy a balanced life where well being is the norm, and it is your thoughts, feelings and actions that bring that into being.  Empowering your inner guidance energizes and engages your passion to live a fulfilling life; the life that you desire without comparison to others standards, direction or approval.

 

Listen Less To Self-Doubt

 

While it’s true that others’ behavior and reactions to events you may engage in together are not your responsibility, your response to others’ behavior is not their fault or responsibility. Taking ownership of your emotions, thoughts and response to life’s ups and downs is the beginning of releasing the blame, victimization and struggle that disempowers you. There is no standard for measuring yourself except when you are focusing on arbitrary external conditions you believe to be true in your head. But that negative voice in your head telling you you don’t measure up isn’t real. It came from belief that outside opinions determine your worth. The only person judging you is you. One of the main reasons we don’t do what we want to do is because we believe others  might judge us, judge our work or our abilities. We think we are vulnerable to what others might inflict upon us and in the process lose our connection to a vital expression of who we are. We strive for perfection in a seemingly impossible way – under terms dictated by limitations. However many have discovered that you don’t need to be perfect to start moving forward.  You can stand in the middle of uncertainty filled with the power of trust and belief in your innate goodness, equipped with the awareness and intention of your heart’s desire, and take the next step. 

 

However, when you are confused about your aspirations or choices and unsure of next steps it can feel like a crisis sometimes. If you have an important decision to make and no confidence about how to make it, and you are caught in a negative reaction to a challenging person or situation, indecision can be paralyzing. It can feel like spinning in place. You may find yourself looking to others for answers, anticipating your next move, thinking it through in 20 different ways – all of which involve spending a lot of time in self-doubt in your head. What if you acknowledge your self-doubt and do what you want you truly want anyway? What if you acknowledge those doubts, not try to push them away, make peace with where you are, and then listen, really listen, to the ideas, thoughts and dreams coming forward in your own heart?

 

Listen More To The Voice In Your Heart

 

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched but are felt in the heart.”

Helen Keller

 

We tell ourselves things like “I can’t write,” “I am not interesting,” “This isn’t going to work out for me,” and then we get that feeling of anxiety going. That feeling is a clue that there is something that you truly want, and you are denying and not trusting yourself to create it. Asking yourself what is at the core of that uneasy feeling or what is beneath that sense of panic will help you see past the doubt and self-judgment to the feelings that you truly want to express and experience. Those positive feelings that arise when you ask on the inner plane are the voice of your heart and soul calling you to the greater good in each and every decision or situation.  You can be assured that no matter what the outside circumstances, you have touched the core of who you are.  Are you ready to follow your joy rather than fear?

 

Life is not all or nothing. Life is a journey of exploring and trying new things, of following what feels good and brings joy, and of changing direction when an emotional storm is brewing. The wisdom to know that and to live your unique, authentic expression on your path is within your heart. Going inside to find the answers rather than becoming mired in what others think allows the positive part of your life to start to guide you.

 

Here Are Tools To Listen To Your Heart

 

You can live the life you wish to live now. Rather than waiting for a crisis to arise, begin to practice being aware of the voice in your heart now. You’ll be glad for where this connection leads you the next time you are challenged by indecisiveness.

 

Practice Meditation

Meditation is a great way to get to know your inner truth. A simple meditation technique is to find a quiet place to relax for 15 minutes each morning before jumping into your day, and sit calmly listening to meditation music while breathing deeply. As you breathe, focus on the feeling of the natural flow of air, in and out of the body. Enjoy the sense of peace that envelops you as you find more and more ease in your breathing and quiet in your mind.

When you have practiced meditation for just a week or so you will begin to notice becoming more aware of your intuitive senses, or gut feelings. It’s a sense of knowing what is right and hearing an inner knowledge from deep within.

 

Notice Messages From Your Heart

Use a journal to note guidance you receive from your heart. Your heart speaks to you continually and making a note of its advice allows you to contemplate and strengthen your connection rather than overlooking or minimalizing its’ voice. Your heart is unique and the messages it brings forth are uniquely for you and felt by you. Trusting in the wisdom of your heart is empowering yourself to be responsible for discovering your own truth and using it to improve your life. Writing down the direction the guidance from your heart is directing you; contemplate it and then use your reasoning intellect to support you in moving forward.

 

Once you find the loving guidance of your heart, you have entered the gateway to live the life you wish to live. You’ll never go back!

Marilyn Decalo Logo, Phoenix

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